Past's Future
by qtips rescue me
Summary: Sometimes it's best to forget the past, even if it means throwing away a part of yourself. But what if the past comes back, holding a secret that could lead to the future? A Sanzo x OC romance like no other.
1. Scroll One

A servant in the temple Sanzo resided as a kid, she was forbidden, but the priest took her in due to her rough past of thieft and orphanage.

Her name was Tamika, and she had done horrible things.

She'd keep herself hidden, her hypnotizing silver eyes flecked with sapphire earned her the name, "Myka" from the occupants, who chuckled and ribbed eachother when she would blush and run away, her sun streaked uneven hair waving behind her.

There was a time, while she was running, she ran into Sanzo, who looked her over curiously.

"I-I..." She stuttered, a bit panicked. The priest had told her to keep hidden, and as of late, she wasn't the best at it. His violet eyes flickered in slight amusement, and he started walking, and beckoned her to follow.

"But..."

"Hurry up, Myka."

Silently, he led her outside, to a sakura tree in full bloom. Beginning to doubt his sanity, she followed him beneath it, where he set himself down with anything but grace. Carefully, she sat a few feet away, twisting her hands and looking quickly at him, then as if she had been burned, snapped her eyes away.

"Why did you bring me here?" She asked quietly, her eyes fixated on a blossom falling to the ground. He snickered quietly,

"I've noticed you around the temple..."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. This Buddist stuff is shit." He spat, but then shook his head, his golden hair shimmering. "I think you should be able to live here like anyone else."

"Really?" She whispered, locking eyes with him.

"See, you shouldn't even have that attitude, of 'I'm not worthy', it'll get you killed."

"But I'm not...I stole, I...I even hurt others..."

"You haven't hurt me." Sanzo moved closer, not taking his calm gaze off of her. "This place is a living hell, so far, your only one of few who hasn't hurt me." Myka blinked, her eyes rimming dangerously with tears.

"Why...?"

"Who cares."

"Myka! Clean the empty room floors, now!!" The priests voice boomed, and Myka tore her gaze from his, and yelled,

"Coming!!!" She looked back at Sanzo, who scowled, and she took off running, sakura blossoms in her wake. Myka smiled and skipped a step as she prepared to do back breaking labor all night.

From that day forward, Sanzo and Myka met under that tree whenever they could, and ever so slowly, his facade began to melt to Myka's naiveness and kindess towards him.

Until one night, she left, just dissapeared. Sanzo was furious, she didn't even say good-bye.

"I HATE YOU MYKA!!! BURN IN HELL!! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN"T LEAVE ME!" He screamed until his voice grew hoarse, admist a thunder storm that raged, the rain mixing with his own tears. Thunder clapped and lightning flashed, but the boy was oblivious to it all. "I'm never doing that again..." He promised, soaking wet under the tree, sakura blooms pressed against the ground with mud choking it's beautiful petals.

A girl had shown Sanzo love and hate.

Her name was Tamika, and she had done horrible things.

_"So, what are you gonna do when you leave this place?" Myka asked, trying to ignore her blush heating her face. It was the only thing warm in the November frost which coated the lawn. _

_"Who cares." He replied, looking away. "Are you going to leave?"_

_"Someday...I'm sick of cleaning..."_

_"Are you..." He couldn't bring himself to say it._

_"No, I won't leave you. I promise." She replied truthfully, then laughed, her tone changing immeadiately. "Are you blushing?!"_

_"No, don't flatter yourself." He hissed, even though, he tried to hide his face from her, for the obvious. _

_"Touche." She giggled, but stopped abruptly when she felt his fingers weave between hers. "S-Sanzo..." He looked back at her, and smirked. _

_ "Are you afraid?"_

_"I-I..." Her eyes went ablaze. "I'm not scared of anything! What are you getting at?"_

_"Oh, touche." He grinned, and sat closer to her. He sighed, his eyes turning wistful. "I'm afraid... you'll leave me."_

_"I would never..." She swore, and squeezed his hand tighter. "I would never..." _

**Past's Future **

Scroll One: Meaningless Sympathy

Sanzo, now twenty three, took a heavy drag on his cigarrete before taking a large swig of his beer dangling loosely in his other hand. Leaning unto the balcony railing, he failed to hear Goku's observation.

"Sanzo sure is loading himself up, huh?" The youkai said, leaning back in his chair. Goyjo's scarlet eyes flicked thoughtfully to the window, where the priest's head was just visible.

"You got a point there, monkey. But maybe you should focus more on the game." He advised, laying down a royal suit primely. Goku growled,

"No fair! You must've cheated you perverted kappa!"

"You just can't accept the fact that I beat you-"

"Now, now, lets not get hasty." Hakkai chimed in, his cheerful voice matching his smile. Jeep chirmed in agreement. Gojyo and Goku just gaped at him, and glared at eachother and slumped back into their chairs, heads tilted the opposite ways, arms crossed childishly. A rapping came at the door.  
"Who's that?" Gojyo asked intellgently, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'll see." Hakkai rose and with a steady gate opened the door, to find a female about his age standing there.

"Is Sanzo here?" She asked despretally, standing on her tip toes to look past Hakkai.

"Yes but-" She shoved past him, and stood in the room, her eyes frantically darting this way and that. Gojyo whistled, taking a liking to her looks. Goku was about to say something when she rushed out unto the balcony, crying in delight when she found who she was looking for.

Sanzo turned around, his tongue too thick with alchohol to say anything at first, his tired eyes sweeping over her body.

She looked the same, but somehow, different. Myka was very much a woman, her cleverage practically spilling out of her strapless shirt with a belt on the top and bottom of it, nothing but curves and turns all the way down. She was clad in ripped cargo pants and a leather belt slung across her waist, gloves that were too big covered her hands, scars snaking their way up her arms. Four swords were packed neatly in their sheaths along her upper back, interrupting her same sun streaked hair rippling unevenly down her back.

Jagged bangs almost concealed her same beautiful eyes, silver as the morning mist and flecked with ocean blue, and still had that naive quality.

"Sanzo...I've-" She whispered, and then gasped as he clicked his gun and aimed it at her, it's silver surface gleaming cruelly.

Goku, Hakkai, and Gojyo appeared behind her, looking as confused as ever.

"What's going on?!" Goku demanded, reaching for his weapon. Hakkai stopped him, holding unto his arm for restraint.

"Leave." Sanzo said, no emotions crossing his face. "Or else I'll kill you."

"No..." She kept the tears at bay as she shook her head strongly, "I might as well die if I can't talk to you again."

Sanzo's finger slowly pulled the trigger, when Hakkai stepped in, creating a force field.

"It's not wise, Sanzo. The bullet will bounce off and kill you. Atleast give this girl a chance." He turned toward her and smiled, "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name."

"Myka."

"What a beautiful name-" Gojyo started, but Goku clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Now is not the time, perv."

"Myka, I want you to tell me what's going on, we must leave Sanzo alone." Hakkai took her unwilling arm and pulled her inside, furious Gojyo and curious Goku in tow.

Sanzo finished his drink and started on another one, popping off the cap with grim relish as he chugged it down.

Myka sat down shakily, and explained everything, ending in tears as she kept glancing back at Sanzo's dark figure only siluetted by the balcony light that hung over head.

Hakkai brought her tea, handing the warm cup to her with a smile.

"You've had a long day, I think this will help."

"Thank you, sir." She said polietely with a bow of her head. He chuckled,

"Oh, _onegai_, Hakkai is fine."

Gojyo frowned across the table; she was already taken. He could see it in her eyes.

"All of the hot ones, damnit!" He threw up his hands dramatically. Everyone looked at him questionably,

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't mind him, he's one of those...you know, 'special-ed' crowd." Goku explained, as Gojyo promptly pounded him to a pulp.

The tea slipped down her throat, soothing her rapid beating of her heart and raspy breaths. Her vision blurred as she felt herself nodding off, and just before she was succumed to slumber, she felt warm arms, safe arms, enclose her.

"Sanzo...?" She murmered into Hakkai's chest as he heaved her over to the bed, and laid her down. The youkai frowned as he threw some covers over her, and glanced out the window at the one being called, who was leaned over a rickety railing with alchohol in hand.

"She went to sleep pretty fast." Goku commented, nursing a tender spot on his head. He threw a look at Gojyo, who had his hands behind his head contently.

"You gave her a sleeping spell, didn't you?"

"Yes, only a small one." Hakkai replied, as Jeep arced around his shoulder comfortably.

"I feel kind of bad for her..." Gojyo looked over at her, "Sanzo wants to kill her, and she practically is already in love with him, I mean..." He scowled as he met Hakkai's emerald eyes.

"I know, I know." He replied non-chalantly, propping his head up with one arm.

"She spent her whole life lookin' for him, and not once, I dun think he even thought of her." Goku supplied, ending with a large yawn. "Why did she waste her time on Sanzo?"

"You'll understand when your older."

"Bleah. You guys suck." Goku stuck out his his tongue, and Gojyo smirked,

"Much later, monkey."

"Quit calling me that!!!"

"Oh? Do you like-"

"Please, we don't want to wake Miss Myka up." Hakkai advised.

"God forbid we do that." Came a familar voice behind them, Sanzo shut the door without care and did a drunken stride over to the table, where he set all fifteen beer bottles unto it, clanking in protest as some rollled off of it's oak surface.

Without another word he walked over and collasped unto his futon, pulling the blanket over his head somewhat forcefully.

"I suppose we should get to bed."

"Not until I beat Gojyo at a round of poker."

"Dream on, Monkey ass-"

"What did you call me?!"

"Your scent."

A gun shot rang loud and clear as the three youkai's heads jerked towards Sanzo, who's blood shot eyes bore into theirs.

"Go. To. Sleep." Was his final words as he trudged over to his futon, not even having the grace to look at Myka, who's shoulder was skinned by the bullet.

A/N: What'd you think? Please give me all comments, good and bad, via review, and I promise I'll make the next chapter longer. Arigato gozimasu for reading, ja ne.


	2. Scroll Two

_"Which one do you want?" Myka called from the highest branch in the tree, her hair whipping around her face. Sanzo spared a glance upward; he wasn't expecting her to do it. She was afraid of heights, and this was the tallest tree around. He had to gather twigs for fire, what he had forgotten was that he was supposed to collect dead ones. _

_"Whichever looks the thickest, I guess." _

_"That was specific..." She grumbled, and reached to grab one. Suddenly the branch gave way, and she screamed as she plummeted downward. Sanzo's eyes widened as he attempted to catch her, and acted more of a break to her fall._

_He opened his eyes painfully after a passage of time, he had hit his own head on the way down. Feeling something on his chest, he looked up to find Myka on top of him, grinning madly, despite her cheek that was bleeding and a few scratches on her arms. Ever so slowly, she raised her hand, and weaving between her fingers were the twigs he had wanted._

_"You idiot..." He whispered coldly, but his eyes betrayed him. _

**Past's Future**

Scroll Two: I Don't Care for Her

The morning was a hectic one, Hakkai changing Myka's bandages and trying to hide his worry that the bleeding hadn't stopped; Gojyo began to yell at Sanzo, who in turn was trying to explain to the Inn Keeper why a shot had gone off in their room. Goku, in the meantime, was chasing Jeep round the balcony, who had stolen his third muffin.

Predictably, they were thrown out, and left standing in the morning mist as the sun bled colors into the sky.

"What do we do now?" Goku asked in a huff, glaring at Jeep who had turned into what it was named for.

"We should get out of here, that's what." Gojyo lit his cigarrete and glanced at Myka, who averted his strong gaze. She failed to hide a wince though as she rubbed her shoulder, red already coming through the white weavings.

"She's coming with, right?"

"No." Sanzo answered. "We will leave her at the village's hospital."

"Sanzo, don't you think-" Goku started, but was silenced at Sanzo's stare.

"I can't say I agree with you." Hakkai said, revving up the engine as he sat in the driver's seat.

"Where am I going to..." Myka trailed off, noticing the Jeep only had four seats. Her voice seemed soft, weak. A certain aura of depression radiated from her, like a cloud tainted with rain.

"C'mere with me." Gojyo smiled, grasping her hand and hauling her up unto his lap. She seemed surprised, but leaned back into him, forcing a smile on her face.

"Thank you." But her eyes didn't match her smile, and Gojyo mentally frowned.

"It's my pleasure." He grinned mischeously and pulled her in closer. Normally, Goku would've yelled at him, but even he was old enough to see what Gojyo was trying to do. He kept silent, shivering slightly as the wind bit at his face.

It was strangely docile as the hum of the engine was the only thing audiable as they finally pulled up into the hospital driveway, Sanzo being the first one to get out and slam the car door harder than nessasary.

"What?" He asked crossly, seeing his three companions stay put. He didn't get an answer. His foot began to drum the ground as he grew more impatient. Finally Goku spoke,

"I thought we're supposed to be saving people, not killing 'em."

"What are you-"

"If we leave her here, where is she going ta go?" Something dark went into Sanzo's eyes as he looked straight at her.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll find somewhere to go, won't you, Myka?"

"..." She looked away, her eyes downcast.

"Leave her alone, Sanzo, you've done enough." Gojyo spat, tasting bile. "Now your just being unfair. I know what shit went on between you two, but it's nothing compared to what your doing to her."

"You told them?" He implied, in an icey voice that made the words sting more.

"I-I..."

"Did. You. Tell. Them."

"_Hai_." She whispered, and lifted herself off of Gojyo and hopped out of the car, flinching as she walked with her head up towards Sanzo, even when his hand hovered over his gun. Her steps steady, and despite of the wetness across her face that could only be caused by tears, the woman stopped her stride and stood directly in front of him, her gray eyes boring into his skull fircely. Hakkai made a motion for Goku and Gojyo not to say anything with the wave of his hand.

"I had hoped you would forgive me..." She stepped closer, her face inches from his. "And I hope you can forgive me now, too." She kissed him quickly, her lips only grazing his, and she continued walking, her boots thudding against the pavement. Myka only turned once, and smiled a sad, tired, and weary one.

"Thank you, Hakkai, Goku, and Gojyo, you've all treated me very kindly. Hakkai, you treated me with more care than any sibling could, Goku, you gave me the remedy of humor and stuck up for me, and Gojyo showed me that warmth and love still exists..." She bowed deeply, flinching as she came back up. "I thank you, Sanzo, for letting me see you one last time."

With sadness that one could only feel and not explain, she opened the door with her good arm and stepped inside.

Sanzo touched his lips in confusion, and looked back at the hospital, and then at his three friends. Each of them looked away, almost hurt.

"What?" He snapped walking back to the Jeep.

"She left for a reason that you were too much of an asshole to notice." Gojyo replied hotly.

"She left you because the priest had started beating her once he found out you two were in some of relationship. He threatened to kill you in front of her if she didn't leave." Hakkai's voice was empty as he pulled out of the driveway. "He was bluffing, but Myka didn't realize it until much later, she was only a girl. If you think that was bad, her life after she left was horrible."

"She saved your life." Goku yelled over the dull roar of the engine.

"As if I didn't realize." Sanzo said, his fingers tapping the metal of the door in a frustraded manner. A pang of guilt shot through him instantly, and he was relieved at the same time that it wasn't because of her she had left. Flashbacks of the scars that were on her arms played through his head.

"She would've died if she had stayed with us." He concluded, and Gojyo scowled.

"You keep telling yourself that." He slumped in his seat, sucking in on his cigarrete hard.

"Shut up. Anyone who doesn't, dies."

"You know what? I don't think he deserves her, Gojyo." Goku said, the kappa nodding in agreement. "She's way better off if we leave her in the hospital, where _someone_ won't shoot her."

"Godamnit, shut the hell up!" Sanzo spun around in his seat, glaring menacingly at the two.

"Is that what you wish? I can't say I don't agree with them." Hakkai said softly.

"We're not taking her with us." Sanzo decided for the one hundreth time that morning.

"Why not? She carried four swords on her back, that must mean she skilled in battle." Goku pointed out.

"No."

Everyone went silent, the quiet dripping between them posionessly. Hakkai stopped the car abruptly, sending everyone lurching forward.

"What the hell-"

"Look." He said simply, with a nod of his head. Hungover men stumbled around, talking of five youkai on their way to the hospital between murmers and slurrs. Hakkai spun the car around with a screech and drove full speed back. Sanzo's protesting thoughts were put on hold as they saw Myka with two swords in each hand, her breathing heavy as five youkai surronded her in ring, crying and worried doctors flocking near the door.

"Where's Sanzo and his followers?" Asked one.

"I have no idea what your talking about."

"Oh yes you do." A sword lashed out of her, but with a clang of metal to metal she threw it off, knocking the sword from her oppenants hand.

"I won't tell you." She growled, her eyes darting about.

"Then we have no choice but to kill you, and then those doctors and patients." Snarled one, cracking his knuckles primely.

"I'm not afraid of anything." She whispered, then sprang up and kicked one in the head, reaching one arm out and sticking her two swords through an oncoming youkai's head. Propelling herself forward with a thrust of her arm, she stuck another's head with her opposite arm, and she hung between them. In a second she swung her feet forward, and kicked a charging youkai in the gut, before untangling her swords and sweeping around, cutting another in half.

It was so quick, the appaulse was a beat late.

Everyone cheered while she slid her sowrds behind her to their sheaths and winced, rubbing her shoulder tenderly.

Our four heroes just gaped, until Gojyo leaped out of the car and bounded to her, followed by an eager Goku. Hakkai gave a knowing look at Sanzo, who waved him off as they trudged across the lawn to her.

"Your back...?" She smiled, though it was somewhat unstable. She cried in surprise as Gojyo swept her off her feet bridal style.

"How'd a beautiful lady like you defeat all of those youkai with an injured shoulder?" He asked, careful not to touch the injurey as he held her. Goku jumped up and down excitedly.

"That was so awesome! How'd ya do it?" He asked quickly, then took out his weapon. "You've got to face me."

"I...Why..." She looked around and then at Gojyo, who winked.

"I think we're gonna keep ya."

"Don't make any asumpsions yet." Sanzo stated tiredly, running a hand through his hair and feeling his vein pop. Hakkai smiled,

"You came back...Sanzo..." she said, locking eyes with him. "All of you...I thought..." And then she lost consiousness, going limp in his arms.

"Man, is she packing or what? She has got to be the hottest-"

"Enough." Sanzo said, waving his hand absently at him. They were in the hospital lobby, complete with uncomfortable wooden seats and poor lighting.

"This place reeks." Goku said, visibly sniffing around and perching himself on the arm of his chair.

"Really, is she yours Sanzo?" Gojyo continued, as scarlet met violet. Sanzo touched his lips unconsiously, his eyes going distant. "Cause you know I won't touch another man's property."

"She's not even coming with us." Sanzo retorted, back to earth.

"Are you serious!? She kicked five youkai ass in two seconds." Goku's adrenaline fed his words as he stood up proudly.

"Goku..." Hakkai warned, but Goku toppled off the chair from loss of balance and landed with a thud on the ground.

"That doesn't matter, I don't want another coming with us."

"If you don't care for her..." Gojyo leaned over and was inches away from Sanzo's face, and he blew smoke expertly into it. "Then why don't you let her come? What do you care if she dies, hnn?"

"Pull something like that again, and die." The priest promised, wearily reaching for his gun.

"In her eyes, Sanzo, is strong dedication..." Hakkai said, as if not to anyone as his eyes were hidden from veiw. "Reminds me of Yaone-San..."

"Ha, that chick you got the hots for, Hakkai?" Gojyo inquired, and wasn't satisfied when Hakkai waved him off.

"I don't know what your talking about, I merely respect her."

"Oh, don't give me that bull shit." Gojyo crossed his leg over the other and turned his eyes skyward. "Well, fuck. This just sucks. Everyone's got a chick 'cept me."

"..." Sanzo glared at him. Gojyo raised an eyebrow back, long used to that look.

"Do you wish for death?"

"Goku...?" Hakkai asked, finally making eye contact. How could anyone like Goku...? His eyes flicked over to Goku, who was promtly walking around the room, atempting to understand the scrolls on the walls, and they didn't fail to notice a limp in his walk. The kappa smirked.

"Lirin, Mokey's female twin. I think he likes her."

"Ahh..." Hakkai nodded knowingly, smiling. Sanzo's eye gave an unhealthy twitch.

"Don't even mention that name in my presence...and why the hell are we-I mean you even talking about this?!" He held a pistol promtly to Gojyo's temple.

"Think about it. The hospital is lending us rooms for the night." Hakkai said as he stood up, brushing any stubborn dust off his clothing.

"But's only lunch time..." Goku whined, back from his trip around the room.

"We must consider Myka's needs...she is in need of a good rest. Tell me..." He placed an arm around Goku's shoulders and led him out of the lobby. "What do you think of Lirin...?"

"I've already made my decision." Sanzo said coldly, avoiding Gojyo's eyes as he walked placididly out of the room behind Goku and Hakkai.

Myka blinked her groggy eyes open, inhaling sharply at the ache in her shoulder. She smiled weakly, she was so pathetic as too make it even worse.

Sitting up carefully, the white sheets falling off and pooling around her in the pale moonlight coming from the window, she strained her ears for any signs of life. Hearing nothing, she slipped out of bed on her long, but shaky legs and stretched, biting her lower lip in attempt to help erase the pain in her shoulder. The floor felt cold and univiting to her bare feet.

Frowning, she sat back down. _Just like Sanzo..._She hadn't expected a welcome from him, what she had done was horrible. She could've withstood pain longer. She could've said good bye. Maybe she shouldn't inconvience them, seeing Sanzo one last time was enough to keep her going a few more years. After that...

With a shiver, she stood and walked out of the room, wrapping a sheet around her, in an attempt to keep her warm. It reminded her of her robe she wore long ago. With a small and somewhat guilty smile she wondered if Sanzo would think the same way.

Creeping into the empty hallway, only lit by the moonlight that carved hideous shadows, she then realized she had no idea of what room they were staying at. Feeling stupid, she wandered down a little ways, and found a map on the wall. Thanking herself for getting taught too, she read where the guest ward was and on tip toes got there, cursing the hospital for being so large and full of twists and turns.

Opening the door as silently as she could, she looked in to find all four of them there, Hakkai occupying the bed while Goku was sprawled out on a futon along with Gojyo and Sanzo. Hoping she wouldn't startle them or wake them, she knelt beside Sanzo, clutching her blanket carefully. The priest Sanzo hung around as kid, the Sanzo then, didn't let Kouryuu (his real name then) know that he knew about Myka, but he let Myka know.

She smiled fondly at the memory.

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"Don't be sorry, in fact, be happy. You see, let me tell you about the sakura tree."_

_Myka looked up, her large eyes wet with tears. "The sakura tree?"_

_"Yes, did you know the sakura tree has no color in it's petals?"_

_"Um...Is this a trick question?" Sanzo laughed, a warm, rumbling sound etched deep in his throat. _

_"It is said that one person is buried under the sakura tree, and the blood of that person gives the sakura tree it's pink petals. With out that person, the tree isn't as beautiful."_

_"Oh..." She looked down, trying to register what he was saying. How did that relate to Sanzo's-Kouryuu-(she corrected, having formed the habit of calling him Sanzo) and their relationship?_

_"You'll understand one day." He smiled and wiped the tears from her face. "I know I preach way too much-"_

_"Not at all Mr. Sanzo,sir...priest...person..."_

_"Your cute. Anyway, get going now, Sanzo wouldn't want to see you cry, neh?" _

She once heard you can tell the condition of a person's soul by the way they slept. Sanzo looked restless, his brow furrowing as his golden hair stuck to his forhead from sweat. He looked worn so much he didn't bother to feel.

Myka frowned, stroking his cheek lightly with one hand. She wished she could make him happier. But to do that, she would have to leave. And that's what she was going to do.

A single tear illumated by silver slipped down her cheek, landing on Sanzo's chest.

"I'm glad you let me see you again..." She smiled, despite the salt that was coming into her mouth from her mounting number of tears. She always felt disgusting when she cried, after Sanzo's master had said that.

"I missed you, Sanzo...I didn't want to leave, and I don't want to leave now. But atleast I'm saying goodbye this time. And this time, you'll be happy I'm gone. I'm sorry for being so selfish..." She stared at him a moment longer, than got up, careful not to trip over her sheet.

Closing the door discreatly behind her, her bangs darkened her face as she padded down the hallway toward the exit, grabbing her boots on the way out.

Sanzo opened his eyes, narrowing them suspisuosly. He had this dream...that Myka was sitting over him in a white sheet around her, smiling sadly and stroking his cheek, crying.

Gah, he was getting as bad as Gojyo...not that he felt any sort of attraction to her whatsoever. He hated perverts.

Shaking his head to rid himself of such senile thoughts and sitting up, he gasped slighly. She was here. It was so like Myka to leave something so obvious. He ran a finger over the sheet, wetness that reeked of tears there.

The real question was, would he go after her?

Isn't this what he wanted?

Hell, it even made it easier on him.

Then why was he even wasting his time pondering over it?

"Damn it all to hell." He snarled and threw the covers off him.

Sanzo's eyes scanned the front yard, able to pick out every blade of grass due to the light. The wind whisted to him as he swiftly ran straight, because he had no other lead. He ended up looping around the village-people looking out their windows and cursing at him for being out so late, of course- and then back in front of the hospital. Leaning against a tree tiredly, he let his gaze wander.

A tree. That was it.

Looking up, he found her, on a branch, siloutted by darkness and moonlight, a sheet whipped around her and blended with her hair, making sight fluttering noises. God, and he ran all the way around town to find her in front of his face.

"Get down here." He grunted, but it was loud enough for her to hear. He blinked in surprise when with a rush of air she landed gracefully beside him as if it were nothing.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I was just going to leave." She said firmly, her hands clanched into fists.

"Why are you doing that?" The way he asked was as if he didn't care, and this was a pain. Which it was, he repremanded himself certainly.

"Y-you don't want me around...and I-I..."

"Spit it out-"

"I just want you to be happy...and I don't think you like seeing me here, so I can just dissapear again like last time."

"Damn, can't say I feel the same way. I don't know about you, but I live for myself, and die for myself." He started walking away. "I face both head on, I don't run like you. I thought you were better than that." She grinned, and ran after him, slowing down once she caught up. He was both complementing and critsizing.

"Say anything, you die. I'm tired. And you woke me up." Her eyes widened and failed to catch his smirk as he opened the door and walked in, her following behind. Their footsteps seem to echo in the dark hallway. For once, she was thankful it was dark, so he couldn't see her blushing face.

"Where's your room?" He asked gruffly, turning to face her. Her voice seem to hitch in her throat; his eyes looked beautiful in this light and shadow.

"Way this...I mean, this way..." She gave a nervous laugh and took the lead, her hips swaying and her pace quick.

They walked there silently, when she finally came to her room, and with a click of the nob the door was open. She hesitated.

"What is it?"

"Nothing...so..."

"Unfortuneately, the pervert, monkey, and Hakkai want you to come with, so you will see me tommorrow." With that he closed the door behind him.

"We're going to go in twenty minutes." Sanzo informed Myka, who was sitting upright in the hospital bed, greeting the crisp morning sunshine that afted trough the window panes.

"Alright...thank you..." She gave a crooked smile, one he reconigized from when they were younger. He had momentarily forgotten about her wound until it dawned on him why they were in the hospital in the first place. He leaned against the side table, he knew she wasn't expecting a apology.

And she wasn't going to get one.

"Damn...I wasted a bullet.." He muttered, cocking his gun and loading it up.

Okay, she did get one. Sanzo-style. "Damn..."He repeated, already he was giving himself up. She watched with a small smile, this was the Sanzo she had loved as a child.

"I like your friends."

"Don't group me with them."

"Sorry."

"Quit apologizing, it's getting annoying."

"Sorry." She giggled, and he raised an eyebrow. He was distantly reminded of a child, and as the time past, her amusement seemed to grow.

"Shut up or die." He looked away, so as she wouldn't see the movement of his mouth.

"Alright." She worked herself out of bed, Sanzo watching carefully as she tugged her boots on and laced them, bent over.

"Why did those youkai want to know who you were?" She asked, her eyes not leaving his as they walked out the door, he chose caustiously to stay a bit behind her.

"It's a long story."

"Later, then?" She spared a glance back at him, a flicker of mischeif in her eyes. He felt himself nodding, realizing what she was asking.

"Later."

"We're going to need to do something about sitting arrangements." Sanzo groaned, grinding his teeth as he saw Gojyo flirting like crazy with Myka, who sat nicely wedged between his legs.

"Is somebody jealous?" Gojyo taunted, and Myka blushed. Sanzo rubbed his temple, blaming whatever god he cursed in his past life for the fate that lay before him.

"Do me a favor and just die, Gojyo."

"Yeah, your making me gag back here, kappa."

"Watch and learn, Goku-"

"(gunshot)Damn, I must've missed."

"...guns make me nervous, Sanzo-kun..."

"Sanzo-kun?! Why are you calling him that for? C'mere..."

"Oh stop that Gojyo, that tickles!(Laughing)"

"Pervy kappa..."

"(vein pop)You want to walk west?!"

"It's going to be another beautiful day, huh Jeep?"

"(Chirp)"

A/N: Once again, thank you very much for reading and thank you for the reveiw(s) I recieved! (I've only gotten one so far, but I'm so pathetically gracious that I'm SO happy, Imagine what more does to me, heheh) Keep 'em coming, good and bad, because it fuels my fire, so to speak. After this I'm thinking of writing a Goku/Jirin or Hakkai/Yaone...what do you guys think? (Not that this story is going to end anytime soon...we're looking at a lot of chapters people. ) Or should I just include those pairings in here? See first sentence.

Uh...

Ja ne


	3. Scroll Three

_ So...what's your name...? Myka asked, her eyes looking curiously at Sanzo, who challenaged her by seeing her from the corner of his eye.  
  
You name isn't Sanzo-  
How do you know?  
You don't have that red speck on your head.  
...red speck...  
What's wrong? It _is _a red speck.  
...My real name is Kouryuu, but I hate that name, so call me Sanzo.  
Sanzo...alright, I will call you Sanzo if you call me Myka.  
What's your real name...? Not that I care-  
  
...Why are you here...with me?  
Why not?  
...Leave me alone... Myka.  
I'll see you tomorrow then. She smiled warmly and skipped off, only to trip over her robes and fall unto the ground. Sanzo stayed where he was, blinking with mild interest as she picked herself up, red in the face, and it was after she was out of earshot he began to snicker quietly._

Scroll three: Belonging Reminiscence

Twilight drenched the desert as our heroes settled down making camp, remaining sunlight dripping lazily through the rolling clouds. Splashes of red and orange bathed the ground shamelessly, outlining Goku as he stretched and yawned rather loudly.  
I was getting cramped in there. he threw a dangerous glare at the kappa. And disgusted, from _someone_...  
Gojyo promptly ignored the comment as he leaped out of Jeep, taking Myka's hand and guiding her out.  
Thank you... She rubbed her arm shyly. But I'm kind of capable... her eyes snagged his face expression. Oh, but I appreciate it. It's been awhile sense I've been treated so kindly.  
Sanzo snorted and busied himself by watching Hakkai light a fire, and telling Goku it was his turn to get out sleeping bags.  
Do I hafta...?  
Move it.

Soon, everyone was ringed around the flame, except for Myka, who had insisted in laying a few feet away, and so she lay, on her stomach with her face propped up by her elbows, her hair spilling over and around her shoulders.  
Sanzo, make her come over her, she's going to freeze. Goku complained, casting a glance over to her. She looked away. Sanzo peered over his glasses, and let out an annoyed sigh.  
  
Hakkai's green eyes flickered in slight empathy as he took his own blanket off and walked towards her, crouching down beside her and throwing the blanket over her shoulders. Myka sat up and let it fall, catching it before it got sandy and passed it back to him, wordlessly.  
I don't belong here... She explained, averting his steady and asking gaze.  
Where do you belong? He played with the blanket between his fingers, ignoring the much to loud and slightly jealous, hmph.' from Gojyo.  
I used to think with Sanzo-kun...but... She looked uneasily over at the priest, who was playing a game of Mahjong with Goku tiredly. I guess...nowhere. She looked up at the sky, where stars were just beginning to peek out of it's magenta layers.  
You know, I once believed that to. Hakkai spoke, jumping her some. She expected him to leave, but instead, he made himself comfortable beside her. Glancing over at him, her gut wrenched alittle; his eyes were beautiful, but sorrow tainted them. Catching her look, he smiled softly. Like I was forbidden...I care not get into details, but. He held his palm out to her. Look closely.  
She did, and found his life line extended by some permanent marker, it's thick line standing out proudly.  
Goku did that. He chuckled, a gentle rumbling from his chest. Before, I felt like I deserved to die, wanted to, even, but now... A breeze picked up and his dark hair chased it longingly. My life-line's extended, I have to live...I want to. Gojyo and the others taught me that.  
As if on que the sound of Goku's infuriated shouts and the smell of tobacco pricked her senses. Myka blinked in surprise at Hakkai, who kept his eyes skyward.  
Hakkai, can I trust you? She inquired, so softly Hakkai had to strain his hearing to listen.  
Perhaps. Why?  
I no longer know Sanzo-kun...he has changed... She struggled and picked her words carefully, as if treading on ice. Part of that is my fault, I know, but...I just...does he want me here...?  
Hakkai's eyes found hers, and his face became grim and unreadable.  
I'm not sure, Myka... He paused, considering his answer. I won't tell you whether to stay or not, that is your own decision. I won't ask or get into details about what had happened to you to make you question so. Darkness consumed the light faster than he realized, he draped the blanket across her shoulders.  
She said softly, her eyes shadowed by her bangs. He was about to stand up, but reclined to do so and crouched instead. There will be times, when I'll tell you in my anger that I don't need you, that I'm better off by myself, even that I hate you. She took a long, shaky breath, her outline quivering. Know that I'm lying when I say those things.  
Hakkai frowned; he sensed something was going on with her that she didn't tell him. She was hiding something, and whatever it was, it stained her eyes with an uncertain and broken air that looked so familiar...  
Yes, that it was familiar because he had that same look in his eyes, long ago.  
Would you like me stay? He offered, he felt it his duty for some reason, even though sleeping on the dirt with a girl he just met might seem a little suspicious to the rest of his party.  
No, you belong over there.  
Then you do as much as I. He stood up smoothly and held out his hand. Her silver eyes searched his for a second, and she took his hand, standing up and graciously letting it go.

It's about time. Gojyo mused as Myka gave him the gift of settling herself next to him, smiling faintly as her large eyes traced Hakkai's movements until he came to rest. The fire cackled and sent the occasional flare as they sat awkwardly, Sanzo finishing his game of Mahjong with Goku by murmuring softly.  
Why is it so quiet? said Goku, his chestnut eyes flicking back and forth between them curiously.  
Let the sleeping dog lie. Sanzo said sharply, removing his glasses from his face.  
What dog?  
It's an expression, you idiot.  
Stupid priest and his saying's. He sat down on the ground with a large thud, folding his legs beneath them. I wanna hear a story.  
A story? Sanzo echoed, shrugging his eyebrows northward.  
Yeah, I mean it's so damn quiet...you must be keepin' something from me.  
Don't be paranoid, Monkey. Gojyo said, lazily breathing a puff of smoke. I'm sure Myka has a story to tell, hmm...?  
She stiffened, as did Hakkai. Sanzo let out a snort of amusement. Goku grinned.  
Yeah, Myka, tell a story! You've got to have one.  
I don't know... She drew the wooly blanket closer around her. Sanzo lit a cigarette, and looked across the fire at her, his violet depths for eyes twinkling.  
Let's go Myka...  
Hmph, fine, Sanzo-kun. She surprised them by crossing her arms stubbornly, and Hakkai was reminded distantly of a child.  
Again with the Gojyo shook his head, but sat closer to her, anyway.  
This is gonna be good. Goku said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.  
Hakkai agreed, but didn't look to certain, as he cast a worrying glance at Sanzo, who looked relaxed enough.  
And Myka began to weave her tale.

After I left the temple, I came upon a village, one with giant peaks with tiles on the rooves. The streets were filled with dirt and gypsies, carts and food. The people and youkai got along fine in that huge place, only with the occasional brawl. I was starving, because I had run all the way and covered 10 miles. I spent my money on...well, I just spent it on something before I left.  
So my only option was to steal from one of those carts in those roads, and I was only going to steal a little bit. So I grabbed some bread, but the owner of the market caught me, a big burly man who found a particular interest in my robes.No, no, leave me alone!  
  
He picked me up by the collar and found out I had lived in the temple, judging from my clothing.Hah, you one o them service girls at the temple, aren't ya?  
Let me go!  
That must mean a pretty girl such as yourself is fresh meat, pure, hmmm?His breath was thick with alcohol, and he brought me inside of his house, it was large and filled with many men, all of which were drunken and had bloodshot eyes.

_ Where are you taking me?!  
I've got another one, fella's!  
  
Oh, can't I do her in first?  
I want her, boss!  
No, she's mine. Maybe after.  
Leave me alone! Please!  
Quit struggling now, babe.He brought me upstairs, at the time, I didn't know how to defend myself. I ate the bread quickly, and he took me up a flight of candle lit stairs. We finally got to a bedroom, filled with candles and silk and huge bed. I've never seen such fine furniture in my life. He threw me onto the bed, and pinned me there, using his weight to his advantage.What do you want with me?!  
_ _You'll see...H-he tore off my clothing...and bit my neck...he hurt me...he raped me...I stayed there, in that bedroom, there were no windows, just that door which he locked. Every day two or three men would come and do the same thing, except they got right to it, me being naked and all.I'm not to bear your children! I'm too young and I already love another!  
Don't struggle so much, girl..._

They'd give me food...if I was good...that's why I stayed skinny...then one day, maybe after a year, a youkai came and gave me these four swords.Take them, and kill everyone here, escape.  
Aren't you going to stay...?  
No, I must go. Leave this place and never come back.And so...I did. I killed everyone there, all three hundred and fifty three of them. I did as I was instructed, and I left that village. I escaped, but no matter how hard I tried, the blood was still on my hands. I found out I was pregnant, b-but I wasn't for long because I was pursued by some insane youkai, and I lost the baby. Thank god...  
Do you want me to go on?

It took a second for her listeners to respond, as she spoke in such monotone for something so tragic it seemed to delay their thinking process.  
She said uncertainly as he pulled her unto his lap, and wrapped his arms around her thin frame, tucking his chin into the nape of her neck.  
I would never force you into something like that. He promised, and she smiled nervously.  
Um...uh...thank you...  
Get off of her Gojyo. Said Sanzo, now standing over the fire with pistol in hand.  
Bite me, priest. Gojyo replied, and carefully untangled himself from her, but still sitting rather close.  
I'd like to die a little older, thanks. Was the weary reply, as he lowered his gun.  
Atleast I gave you the invitation, you homo.  
Try to restrain from shooting him. Hakkai advised lightly, almost automatically.  
Why'd ya tell a story like that? Goku asked bluntly, and her brow furrowed.  
What do you mean?  
You must have happier ones- he flinched under Sanzo's firm glare, and added hastily, -after you left the temple.  
She looked up at Sanzo, then smiled that broken smile of hers. I met Sanzo-kun again, and all of you, of course. I've never been happier. Besides, that was the least painful thing that went on when I was by m yself. Heh, it's no big deal.  
It was then for the first time the party witnessed Sanzo being surprised, and he stepped backward in the revelation, blinking a bit, like a fog had just been lifted.  
Than let's hear a story bout when you were at the temple. Goku suggested, taking advantage of Sanzo's little silent spell.  
All right. She nodded, willingly this time.

It was spring, the time when the cherry blossoms were on the trees, and it had been a year since I had met Sanzo. I didn't have a birthday-  
What do you mean you didn't have a birthday? Goku interrupted, his head cocked to one side.  
I didn't have any parents, so I didn't have one, still don't.  
Stop interrupting. Came Sanzo's cross command, now sitting with his eyes firmly shut. She continued, trying to ignore Gojyo's hand attempting to crawl it's way up her arm, only to be swatted by her left subconsciously.  
So I figured that meeting Sanzo-kun was just as good as any. I went around looking for him, but I couldn't find him. I was desperate, and became upset, and began to cry on the porch outside of temple after a few hours.  
The back one. Sanzo mumbled, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. They all gaped at him, and thanked whatever god was watching over them that he had his eyes closed. He snapped, his eyes flying open.  
Quit interrupting. Goku mocked.  
Myka felt the need to continue before death was to ensue. But was stopped as soon as her lips began to form a sound.  
Stop here Myka. Sanzo warned. We're going to sleep.  
To hell we are! Came Gojyo's automatic yell. It's got to be only nine.  
Early to bed, early to rise. Hakkai said briskly, setting up the remainder of his blankets.  
Aw, you suck. Goku was about to lay down before he gave Myka a sympathetic glance. Y'know, one of these days we're havin' a sparring match, or something with those swords of yours.  
She smiled, and content with that, Goku flopped down, snoring was sure to follow. Gojyo, grumbling and resisting temptation, stretched out and covered himself with blankets, propping his head up on one elbow and drifted off to sleep. Myka stared in amazement, but was startled at the sound of hissing; Sanzo was putting half of the fire out.  
It's not that amazing...  
Your talking to me...I-  
Can you do me a favor and shut up and listen? Sanzo whispered harshly, now crouching in front of her. His eyes made her melt, but her heart danced around her chest and put broadway to shame.  
I'm sorry, go on.  
Say sorry again, you die. He caught her slight snicker. I'm not kidding. But...you didn't eat anything for dinner. The hospitals cooking isn't that bad. Eat, your worrying Hakkai.  
She didn't say she was sorry. She preferred her head where it was.  
I'm...glad you noticed...  
Hmph. It was only because Goku was gorging himself more than usual, he annoyed me. He stayed there, the fire light playing with his features. Not being able to stand the silence, she said timidly,  
Why'd you stop me?  
Because...I didn't want them to know...I didn't want to remember.  
You're ashamed.  
He looked away now, his eyes glowing eerily, his jaw kind of set straight. Suddenly Myka started giggling, her unique eyes sparkling.  
What the hell...?  
I was just thinking... She tried to stifle the laughs, but was failing miserably. How strange our relationship is.  
He shook his head.   
But now she was laughing so hard it was silent, and tears were leaking from her eyes.  
I missed you so much Sanzo-kun...and you couldn't care less. T-that's just so sad it's hilarious...  
And just as suddenly, in Sanzo's arms was crying female, burying her head into the cloth rippling around his toned chest.  
He didn't know how to react; so he didn't.  
You don't want to remember...? She sobbed quietly, her hands clutching his clothing.  
A rush of emotions Sanzo never thought he had flooded through his head, how soft she felt, how vulnerable she was, how pathetic she looked, how foolish she was, how angry he felt, and the nervousness of what he should do.  
Tell me. He said quietly, deprived from any hinting emotion. He didn't hold her, he leaned back, using his arms to balance himself, and kept himself from looking at her.  
You came around, She began, her voice muffled, being it she refused to give up some of his warmth, and she didn't want to have Sanzo see her burning cheeks.

And asked me,Why are you crying? Sanzo sat down beside her, the breeze ruffling his angelic blonde hair. She looked up at him, her cheeks tear stained and dirty in the appropriate places.  
I couldn't find you.  
Don't be stupid, I'm always here. She felt his fingers weave between hers and give a gratifying squeeze. She blinked, finally understanding the meaning.  
  
  
  
Spit it out, already.  
_ It took a second for him to translate, but he made it. For the first time in her life, Myka witnessed Sanzo blush, only the slightest, and he locked his gorgeous eyes with hers.  
I...I like you...too...  
An awkward silence went between them as their faces heated and they dodged the other's glances. Finally, having the equipped knowledge of a romance novel she had found when she was seven, she knew that being kissed was what happened after these sorts of things.  
Well...um...aren't you gona kiss me...?  
Wha?! No. he turned around stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring straight ahead, trying to will away the redness that had clung to his cheeks.  
But that's what supposed to happen... Wetness began to sting her eyes again. Figures. Today's so horrible. You don't even remember.  
I did so. He insisted, even though she couldn't see his face. It's your birthday, right? Such solemn tone had Myka admire and admit that this boy she liked was wise beyond his years.  
What's a birthday for, anyway? Not like anything good happens.  
Sanzo said gently, and she didn't have the heart not to look at him. You get gifts on your birthday.  
I don't need one...  
But I do... He whispered, and leaned in closer. They didn't close their eyes until they were sure they had it right, and finally, Sanzo captured her hungry lips. The kiss was slow and careful, like an explorer first treading an unknown area, the kiss of first lovers. He brought his hands to her shoulders and squeezed, bringing her in closer in only a way to be described as awkward.  
Finally, it was broken, and just as slowly they moved away from each other, savoring the taste.  
You want to do that again? Asked Myka meekly. Sanzo gulped and nodded softly._

Sanzo waited until her sobs died down, and when her breathing became gentle and rhythmic, he realized she was asleep. Looking down, he frowned; how was he going to get out of this one? More disturbingly, she hadn't finished; he had remembered the rest of the story.  
Running a hand through his hair, and frowning deeper at his forehead extension Goyjo was so fond of making fun of, he let out a calming breath, deciding what to do.  
He whispered, shifting a little.  
The kappa turned his head around, wide awake.  
Can you-  
Gojyo sat up, his scarlet eyes twinkling mischievously with the dying fire. Through a few grumbles, lifting, and curses, Gojyo managed to get Myka into his sleeping quarter, tucking the blankets carefully around her frame.  
Don't take advantage of her. The priest warned, his back turned to him.  
What do you take me for? That hurt. Ow. Gojyo pouted playfully, slipping expertly under the covers. He wrapped his fingers around her left hand, her back being to him, and was content with her streaked hair falling in thin wisps around his face.  
For once in a long time he slept like a normal person or youkai would; it had been awhile since he had had a women in his bed.  
A whole week and a half. Whao.  
Sanzo shoved his hands into his robe pockets, rocking from his heels to his toes and back again. He wondered briefly how both the kappa and the girl would react when they both woke up. Gojyo was nasty, but he wasn't_ that _nasty.  
Or so he hoped.  
Closing his eyes contently, he strode back over to his place to sleep, confirming he didn't feel uneasy about his choice.

Myka awoke with a start, sweat dripping down her brow, her eyes dilated and panic stricken.  
Nnn...what's wrong...? Came a sleepy reply, which shocked her further. Gojyo felt her shaking, and squeezed her bandaged shoulder gently.  
It's all right, Gojyo's here. He cupped her chin in his hand and guided her to see him, despite of the two o'clock darkness.  
Immediately she relaxed; then tensed up again.  
Gojyo...what am I doing... She started, her eyes darting to their interlocked hands to his scarlet depths.  
You needed some comforting...It's all right, I didn't make any passes. He soothed, an eyebrow arching as he stroked her face with his thumb, to find it sweaty. What's going on?  
I-I...I had a nightmare...it was so real. Her voice became in unsteady whisper again.  
It's only a dream. They can be pretty real. There was this one the other night... Gojyo left the question hanging, his eyes traveling further down Myka.  
I guess your right. She nodded, her muscles going limp again. With a smirk she removed his hand from her face, and squeezed his other one a bit.  
You're still unsure. His voice went serious and seem to deafen the darkness. How did he...? Tell Daddy about it. He supplied slyly, moving in closer so he could feel her warm breath brush his face.  
I've done a lot of storytelling tonight, haven't I...? She suddenly found it was a little too warm in these blankets. I-I thought Sanzo was dead, he was lying on the ground...there was a lot of blood, and I ran...at something, or someone...yelling...and I was killed, only to hear Sanzo's voice, he was alive...and he was yelling that I did something so stupid...And...I can't remember the rest...  
I see, that's not to bad. To her surprise he broke contact with her hand and rolled unto his back, placing his hands contently behind his head. Well, that monk is just to stubborn to die-  
  
Whatever, same thing. And you won't die so quickly, or easily.  
He sighed wistfully, something uncharacteristic of Gojyo. Your still in love with Sanzo, aren't you?  
Gojyo, I- She stopped at his solemn gaze, and nodded timidly.  
I respect that, but until he quits treating you like shit, I have every right to comfort you, wouldn't you agree?  
Y-yes...I mean...  
So c'mere. He grinned and lashed his right arm out, hooking it around her and before she could react her head was on his shoulder, one hand on his chest. She felt his hand that he had used to lasso her support her lower back, so not one part of her body wasn't touching him.  
Don't be scared, I'm not doin' anything. And those nightmares won't come anywhere near you once I'm through.  
His warmth was inviting, and she gave in, snuggling in closer and feeling the illusion of melting into him as he pulled the blanket in around them. As his breath caressed her face faintly, he pointed with his free hand at the sky, a constellation.  
See that? Medusa lookin' fine tonight.  
Myka giggled softly, becoming more drowsy. That's just sad, Gojyo, hitting on a constellation.  
You've got no imagination, do you?  
I'm sorry, go on...(yawn)...go on...  
You sound so sexy when your tired-  
  
Sorry, fine, fine...alright, see that hot chick of a constellation over to the left?  
  
Soon Gojyo's sweet and gentle voice slipped her off into slumber, her mind lulled like the roll of waves in the ocean of dreams.

This is complete and utter bullshit! Bullshit, I tell you! How the hell can you get four aces in one hand after two turns?!  
How the hell can your breath stink so badly in one morning?  
Myka blinked her eyes open, squinting when she caught the rays of sunlight beaming into them. Sitting up, she was relieved to find out she was in Jeep, and her awakening did not go unnoticed.  
Oh, did they wake you up? My sincerest apologies. Came Hakkai's cheerful voice. Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she mumbled,  
How long have I slept...?  
Oh, not too long. Hakkai waved her question off casually, and she measured the height of the blazing sun.  
It's almost noon isn't it? Oh, why'd you let me sleep so long?  
It's not a problem, really.  
Atleast I bother to brush my teeth, unlike a _certain_ kappa who seems to be afraid of the water in the sink! Goku stuck an accusing finger in his tormentors face. Gojyo breathed smoke back at his opposer.  
You know what? Why don't you just take a shit and shut your virgin mouth. While your at it, pass me a beer.  
You get your own you lazy asshole! I'm so sick of your-  
Would you all just shut up? Sanzo made out through grinded teeth, gun cocked and glinting in the warm sunlight.  
The couple are at it again. Hakkai offered wisely, his eyes flicking to the mirror and smiling as Myka tried to supress laughter, her shoulders shaking slightly giving herself away.  
Gojyo blinked, feeing a shifting at his feet, and grinned.  
Oi, you sleep okay gorgeous?  
...ah, fine, thanks...  
It's nice to see her smile. Said Hakkai, the question was aimed at Sanzo, but he didn't respond, content with looking out over the desert. You do understand, He continued, knowing full well his companion was listening, That she is hiding something from us, don't you?  
Came the venomous reply.  
'Yeah' to what?  
She's different from when I remember...broken, maybe. I don't care, it's none of my business.  
I'd have to say I disagree.  
Mykaaaaa...My-ka! You promised, you said you would. Goku tugged her arm ruthlessly as Myka staggered in between them, having no choice but to let one leg drape over Gojyo's.  
Promised what? Hakkai asked, now tuning in.  
She said she would fight me! Said Goku proudly.  
Well you obviously can't do it now. Sanzo said, seriously doubting the intelligence of his crew.  
We should be reaching a town by sunset. Hakkai checked the map spread across his legs.  
BY SUNSET?! WE HAVE NO MORE FOOD LEFT!!! Goku screamed, his hands pulling at his hair.  
Bring on the apocalypse. Sanzo murmured dryly.  
Umm...Goku...are you hungry...? Myka asked, watching with slight fear as he looked her in a way that reminded her of a rabid animal.  
Hell yes.  
She reached into one of the many pockets that latched unto her torn pants and took out some bacon wrapped in a piece of bread. I'm not really hungry right now-  
Whoa, thanks Myka! Your the best!! He scooped the food and downed it in a few gulps, before sitting back and announcing. All is well.  
Myka blinked and laughed nervously. Ah...your welcome.  
All is not well, Monkey. Sanzo turned around in his seat, glaring at Goku.  
Myka has not eaten since we left the hospital. Hakkai reminded them, and all of them stared expectedly at her.  
It's been that long...? Huh... She realized, and shrugged. I'm fine. My metabolism is incredibly slow, I'm used to going a week on only one meal.  
Only one? Are you crazy?! Goku shook her by the shoulders, and Gojyo slapped his hands away.  
Don't touch her, you-  
I can touch whatever I wanna, you stinkin'-  
I'm going to kill them. Sanzo declared, burying his face in his hands, a vein popping somewhere in his head.  
There there you two, I'm afraid Myka won't like getting caught up in the arguments between you two. And Myka, we must get your eating habits back on track, we're not held responsible for you. Hakkai said with the air of a parent scolding some bad children.  
_So_. That means we will not save your life if it endangers ours, understood? Sanzo meant it to be rhetorical.  
Of course. She replied, her muscles twitching as one hand was on either the kappa's face or the monkey's, trying to keep them from getting into a full brawl. Please do not treat me like I'm any weaker. She let go when she felt the two had calmed some, and fingered the sheaths on her back...  
Or there were supposed to be.  
My swords! She exclaimed, looking toward Gojyo for an answer. He gave her a blank look, as did Goku.  
Oh, those are just in the trunk, please do not worry. Said Hakkai, his dark hair swishing in the wind that the windshield failed to keep away.  
She frowned in annoyance, her hair was whipping around her face and seemed to take a life of it's own in the back of her, the strands capturing the sunlight playfully and seeming to reach to retain it. Gojyo, can I borrow a hairtye? She noticed he had pulled his hair back last night.  
He smirked, and she rolled her eyes skywards. She should've figured...  
He seemed to decide whether he was going to reply or not.  
The way he said it didn't put her at ease.  
Can I...borrow a hair tye? A pause. A hair tye hit caught her by surprise and hit her in the forehead, and the wound stung. Sanzo was strong, all right.  
_Arigato gozimasu_. She replied, ducking her head respectively before tying her hair back, her bangs and shorter strands still hanging around her face. Something wrenched in her gut; something was wrong. Somethings...I think someone is here that shouldn't be.  
Taking mental note of her sudden change of voice, and how it sounded much to like a different person enough to disturb them, the party looked around, finding nothing.  
What's going on, Myka? I dun see anything... Goku's eyes doubted her, but she was too deep into concentration to notice, her char coal eyes brewing like a storm and getting more distant.  
The hell...? Gojyo grabbed her face and jerked to look straight into his eyes, but she snarled and tore his hands away, finding the unexpected balance in a speeding vehicle to leap backward and stand on the metal door.  
Get away from me. She warned, her voice changing pitches dangerously.  
What the hell is going on?! Goku didn't wait for an answer as he lashed out his hand and grabbed her arm.  
What should we do? Hakkai said calmly, and his tone irritated Gojyo.  
Sanzo was suddenly standing as Hakkai slowed Jeep to a stop, gun aimed straight at her. She froze, her hands clenching and releasing, until Hakkai stopped, standing abreast with Sanzo.  
Will someone tell me what the hell is happen-ah! Goku jumped backward in dismay, holding his forearm tenderly. Blood was dripping through his fingers, and he grinded his teeth. In her hands were her four swords, and Gojyo's eyes widened some. He didn't even see her move to get them.  
She gasped, still balanced on the door in an un-human like manner.  
I will shoot you. Sanzo snarled, cocking his gun.  
Jeep, transform. Hakkai murmured, and in a second they were all standing on the ground, Myka ungracefully sprawled out.  
We're going to hold her still- Sanzo began, his gun still steady.  
Wait a second Sanzo! We can't kill her! Ironically enough, it was Goku who said it, still clutching his reddened arm. Something's wrong...I don't know what, but we can't kill her. His teammates looked grim, except for Sanzo; he was immune to it, no matter how much he felt for anything.  
Suddenly her body gave an unhealthy twitch as it rose to it's feet, her swords singing as she scraped them together to form two x's with her hands.  
I said get away from me! She yelled, and flung a sword at Gojyo. He dodged swiftly, biting his lower lip.  
Why are you doing this? He asked in his normal tone, eyes narrowed.  
Stop it! Stop it! Stop!! She screamed, blindly throwing another, it having missed it's target too. Her eyes were shadowed by her bangs as she sort of bent over. Hakkai suddenly remembered what she had said.  
Fight it, Myka, don't give in. He took a step closer to her, and her head jerked up too quickly; her eyes locked with his.  
She whispered, and lunged at him. A chi barrier flew up around him, and she leaped backwards, sand dancing around her feet. Her growling stopped when a gun shot went off, and it whizzed past her, inches from her head.  
Do you want to die, Myka? Sanzo growled coldly, clicking his weapon.  
I said don't- Goku began, but Gojyo slapped a hand around his mouth.  
Shut up chibi-chimp, your only making this harder.  
She said, her voice returning to normal. Her hand shook in harmony to her grinding teeth, and slowly she brought a blade to her neck. I can't do this anymore, Sanzo...I can't-  
Out of nowhere Hakkai kicked her hand, sending the sword flying. He spun around in the air and landed, his right hand dragging as he skidded to a stop behind her.  
You're not her. Hakkai and Sanzo said in unrehearsed unison.  
Now I'm really confused... Gojyo added, somewhat to himself more than anyone.  
I am. She replied, a twisted aura surrounding her. With a grunt of pain her fingernails extended, and with a sick smile she slashed one cheek, the five cuts bleeding with a cold satisfaction. Tamika, daughter of Hakkai and Kanan-  
Hakkai's eyes widened, this wasn't right. This...This...  
The combination of what Kanan called a beast' and your daughter, Hakkai. This body shares my soul with hers.  
He almost whimpered, weakened by shock, torn between joy and anger, and most of all, sorrow.  
She was pregnant when she was taken, but she couldn't have told you, is my guess. No wonder her voice was different, and she cried out in pain, falling to her knees. Her eyes cleared a brief moment, and tears fancied them.  
I'm so sorry, Hakkai...please let me die...  
But's it's not possible. Sanzo declared. The years don't match up, how could Myka come to the temple at that time-  
They do, think about it. I was born from a dead body, because of me, the youkai. Once they found out I was part human, they threw me out, and Myka came across the temple. Myka, no, her alter ego, let out an evil snicker as she raised her other hand to scratch it's other cheek. Licking her lips, she failed to see Goku coming up behind him, or feel the pain as she blacked out.

A/N: I'm sorry for the long update, what took me so long is the teachers have decided to spring a ton of homework on me...--;; They all must die. Scratch that, I thought they were already. Plus, I'm having trouble with the Document Manager...  
Tell me if you liked or not, I hope I kept the characters in-character. Please review, and thank you so much for doing so! All of you loyal reveiwers get a new carborater and light bulb! (Just what you always wanted, huh?) Sorry, I'm waaaay to tired...my parent's keep telling me to get some sleep, but I'm like,  
I've never seen you eating it! In true Goku fashion.  
P.S. About the sequel to Scars' I'm not sure yet, it's on my mind, though. I'm working on this story for now, and maybe a Naruto one.


	4. Scroll Four

_ Priest Sanzo! Myka yelped in surprise, taking her gaze off the window pane, where rain fancied itself coming down. The priest smiled; this was the nice priest.  
Hey there Myka.  
Shouldn't you be...um...I'm sorry, it's not my place...I'll get back to washing the floor, sir.  
Don't, it's all right, Myka. I'm glad I could find you, your very hard to locate.  
Thank you, sir. I'm not supposed to be seen...you w-wanted to find me?  
He walked beside her to the window, his eyes looking distant and down to earth at the same time. I understand you met Kouryuu?  
She looked at him fearfully, and in his eyes there was friendliness. She decided to trust him.   
I'm glad.  
Y-You're glad, sir?  
Yes. Look at this rain, Myka.  
Coming d-down like a b-bastard.  
You have been around Kouryuu. No one else here talks so foul. He chuckled. Regardless, do you like the rain, Myka?  
I don't know... She put her callused hand up to the glass.  
That's good. He nodded approvingly. Not knowing your self worth, but cherishing another...that is true selflessness.  
...Nani? What does rain have to do with it...? She tilted her head at him, confused.  
Gomen, I don't make much sense, do I? He ruffled her hair, and she didn't particularly hate the affection gesture.  
She couldn't say she liked it much, either.  
No, you don't, sir.  
_  
Scroll Four: Somewhere Between Everywhere and Nowhere...I'm Always Here

Rain pattered upon the wooden hospital roof, teasing it's occupants and cowardly escaping off the roof in small waterfalls. It was strangely gray and silent; it had been two days since Myka's outburst, both of which she was out cold. They had reached the town Hakkai had been talking about, and hurried in, the strange weather sending shivers down their backs. The only thing that was said was by Gojyo, who remarked dryly,  
Damn, it's so gray here I want to slit my wrists just to see color.  
She would be in for about three days, she is to be visited one at a time, her psychological makeup was still recovering, did they understand? They nodded and murmured an unconvincing yes to the nurses speech and walked up to the steel door, finding her sprawled out on the bed, wire weaving themselves around her arms and biting savagely into her skin.  
It was cold, Hakkai thought, even though it was warm inside of this room, inside of the hospital. He carefully braided her hair, stepping back to look at her. Yes, she bore some resemblance to Kanan, most definitely. Her dirty blonde hair must've been the result of his dark hair and Kanan's light. His now sunken eyes closed in agitation as he sat back down, the chair squeaking in slight protest to the sudden weight.  
Everything was happening too fast. It was just the day before yesterday...no, it had been longer than that...the demon slayer shook his head, time was playing tricks on him. He was so confused...He would ask Sanzo once he was finished. His senses pricked when he heard her stir, seemingly the only thing over the drumming of the gentle, depressing rain that flooded him with grief. Her silver eyes met his; those must be traces of his parents, he mused, and that the rain matched them.  
She gasped, and struggled to explain. They froze time, using alchemy. I don't know how, but they did. They wanted me to kill you, Hakkai, they wanted your own daughter to kill you at the proper age. But I'm not only your daughter... Her breath melted into her voice, yes, she was definitely like the rain. I'm so sorry, Hakkai...I should be dead, I should be-  
Right with me. He whispered, a weak smile gracing his features. We can fight that youkai inside you, Myka. We can do it together. Your all I have left. Tears welled in his eyes, the image of her becoming blurry. He did not suspect that tears we rimming her eyes as well.  
Of Kanan...?  
  
Don't look at me like that, I'm not her.  
I know. It'll take me time, but I think I'll learn to become a father...to you. But don't you die on me, that won't change anything. Yes, we must live together, you and I. He lightly touched her hand, and used the other to adjust his eyepiece.  
I don't want a father. She said softly. I want...I want Hakkai. The tears ran down her cheeks, but her face was still, and her voice kept silent. Hakkai found himself embracing her, crying himself, for what reason he could not figure out. Whether it was from joy or sadness, he could not put into logic. Nothing they had said was particularly moving; it didn't mean much.  
After awhile he let go, and coughed purposefully.  
I think some others would like to see you. He jerked his thumb backwards towards the door, his companion's faces pressed against the slip off glass, Sanzo supplying an impressive beating with his fan. Myka laughed submissively, wiping away her tears.  
Why can't they all come in at once?  
The nurse told us it would not be wise too.  
  
We'll catch up later; we have plenty of time. He smiled, and strode over to the door. Myka lay back down, a sudden exhaustion creeping through her as she closed her eyes, to find some weight engulf her, a warm, pleasant, and full body embrace.  
She murmured, opening her eyes to his scarlet hair, feeling his breath caress her neck. Let me... She struggled, pain apparent in her voice. Not too close, there.  
I thought you were so.. He whispered, only easing up to be inches from her face. She grinned,  
  
Yeah, you were. His wine red eyes searched hers, and then he fingered a stray hair that fell across her eyes. Heh, I never knew you had a wild side. Kind of a twisted turn on, huh?  
You're turned on by that?  
His hand cupped her cheek. I'm turned on by you.  
You were worried? She whispered, because she realized the meaning in what he said. It wasn't that he was giving her a compliment, he was straddling her waist and embracing her closely already. He meant he didn't like her alter ego, and liked her the way she was. Perhaps he thought that had been the end of her.  
No, I wasn't. He admitted, his face still retaining that playful air. I was just disappointed you could die so easily.  
I'm sorry... She said after a long pause, that in which his eyes never left her.  
Don't be, beautiful. I just don't want to save you. I've got enough to handle. His thumb massaged her cheek. That'd suck, do you get what I'm saying?  
Sort of...  
Life goes on. She could smell the smoke of his breath. What also sucks... He untangled himself from her, something that began to register routine in her mind. Is the ladies here. He winked in true Gojyo-fashion, and she smirked.  
Go ahead, play boy. Just be back when I am, okay?  
He pulled out a poker deck. Let's play. He shrugged his eyebrows up suggestively, and she shook her head.  
I don't think I can. She indicated the wires on her arms with a quick flick of her eyes. Maybe later, once I'm out of this hell hole. I'm beginning to seriously detest hospitals.  
He turned to leave, when she called his name timidly.  
...Thanks, Gojyo...for everything...  
He nodded, not voicing that it was him that should be thanking her, for what, he still couldn't figure out. She snickered, noticing Sanzo give the grace to glare at the kappa as he slid through the door. Without warning Goku shoved his way in, slamming the door shut before anyone protested. The air in the room had been grim and gloomy, silver dominating the sheets around her and the glistening off everything.  
When Goku strode over to her, his stupidity and happiness took the room by force, and noticeably brightened it some. She noted a bandage around his forearm, however, and frowned.  
D-Did I do that...?  
Hell yeah! He grinned widely. Your awesomely strong, even if it was your alter-ego, you gotta fight once you get out of this place.  
A sweat drop formed on her brow and she just nodded. That was the exact opposite response she thought she was going to get.  
Here, I brought you food. He sat down unto the chair and handed her the muffin, which she took graciously.  
Thank you very much. She scarfed it down, appreciating it, coming from Goku. He watched her with an unhealthy twitch, though. I'm afraid I'm not much of a cook, but I'll have to pay you back.  
Your right. He said bluntly. He looked back at the steel door. I swear, I thought I heard something...Well, I'm gonna go, s'not nice to keep you waitin'.  
What do you mean? He smiled, and it was so truthful she mimicked him.  
I'm gonna get Sanzo in here for ya. He did a short jog over to the door, and yanked it open. he yelled, in response a few doctors shushed him, and a few patients yelled something along the lines of:  
Keep it down, damnit!!  
A quite audible whack' that sounded suspiciously like a fan hitting the skin, and Sanzo was pushed through the door by two of his teammates; the other had gone to the local bar.  
His violet eyes glared at them through the glass, and he reluctantly drudged over. Myka recognized, however, a certain air of tiredness around him; perhaps it was in his hunched shoulders, or dark shadows around his gorgeous eyes.  
Are you okay...? She sat up, the scars on her cheek becoming more apparent under the rainy light from the window. He spat, and said in his usual rough tone,  
Shut up. Even if he was tired, his voice kept that same snarl. I don't need to take that from someone in the hospital, again. He leered at her gravely. You disappoint me. One more time and you're gone.  
But what if it happens another time-  
There won't be a next time.  
Yes, Sanzo-kun...  
He got up rigidly, but she sat up straighter and said clearly,  
Why are you tired?  
I'm not tired.  
here. She said, to his back, so she couldn't see his features.  
  
Must I always have a reason?  
He obeyed, keeping in mind what the nurse had told him. He chose to sit at the foot of her bed, cursing the rain. He hated rainy nights. Sanzo's scowl was enough to convince Myka of that.  
What time is it?  
Sanzo answered, feeling his own fatigue. He hadn't slept last night; it wasn't because of Myka, but because of his own memories of his master that attacked him. So he took turns driving Jeep with Hakkai all through the night, in fact, the only time he thought of Myka was when Gojyo had held her close and was using her as some sort of way to sleep.  
I'm not in love with Gojyo, Sanzo-kun...we have a different kind of relationship... She said quietly, a blush creeping across her cheeks in her dismay.  
I didn't ask. Was his reply, not bothering to wonder what compelled her to say it.  
W-will you stay with me...?  
  
Until...I fall asleep...I mean. Her eyes darted nervously around the room, looking anywhere but at Sanzo. Finally, she locked eyes with him,  
I'm not going to be your baby-sitter.  
What about being...my friend? Rejection was the word coursing through her mind and veins, but she didn't give up.  
I don't think I can be that. Was his cold reply, and a hint of confusion as she smiled.  
Than can you just...be here? She held out her hand, willing him to take it, despite of the wires coming from her arm. He slapped it away.  
Not right now. He left, closing the door quietly behind him. Myka lay back down, sadness rippling through her like the rain outside with the puddles. But it was only what she had deserved. After all, she had let him down, in a way she couldn't put into words. Bending over, she took the wires, complete with needles, out of her arms, using her teeth. She didn't need them.

Just as he had left, noticing that Hakkai and Goku had already, a chubby nurse caught his eye in the hallway, talking to a big man in a black t-shirt and jeans.  
-You must sleep next to her, keep an eye on her while she sleeps. Information has told us she has a youkai soul stored away inside of her; if that's to break free you will be there to stop her from going insane. Her psyche is fragile right now; a sure way for the youkai inside her to emerge.  
No problem. The man grinned, a perverts grin. Sanzo narrowed his eyes; one thing he hated in this world was perverts. The man bid farewell to the nurse and started to stroll over to Myka's room, labeled Intensive Care' above the door. I'll give her intensive care, all right. He laughed, when Sanzo came up behind him and knocked him out with a swift punch to the head, to smile in satisfaction as he crumpled to the ground.

Your back. Myka couldn't help but smiling as Sanzo glared at her, shutting the door behind him. He noticed the wires were gone, and it their place blood was dripping from her arms. Can you hand me some bandage wrap? I don't want to stain these sheets.  
Why can't you get it yourself? He snorted, but walked over to a nearby cabinet and scrummaged around for her desire anyway. Sanzo decided to ignore the quiet pain of the headache he was suddenly experiencing.You knew, didn't you? He asked, somewhat coldly.  
Guilty as charged.  
You've got to stop hanging around that bastard, Gojyo. Sanzo tossed the roll over to her, and took a seat at the edge of her bed. She laughed, and wrapped her cuts without flinching.  
Sanzo's eyes watched the raindrops race each other down the window. He hated rainy nights. He hated any form of what was going on inside that head of hers. Sparing a glance over at Myka, he considered that it wouldn't be so bad, spending tonight with someone else. It was purely, however, for his well being; no nightmares and a warm bed.  
He was shaken from thought from her yawning, and she didn't bother with the covers as she literally fell onto the mattress, giggling like a small child as she bounced alittle.  
What the hell is your problem? I will leave.  
Your supposed to be next to her. A nurse burst through the door, a different one than the previous, though, Sanzo mused, they were all old hags.  
Why can't you do it? He shot back, and Myka backed him up.  
It's all right, ma'am, I'm fine-  
No your not! She said harshly, not aware of the patients in the neighboring rooms. Especially because you took the monitoring wires off you, look, do you want to do this or not?! She threw a nasty glare as Sanzo, and he capsized. He couldn't let some thug come in and send her through the traumas she had as a child, and Hakkai and Goku were nowhere to be found.  
Very, very, very reluctantly and slowly, he walked and sat down next to her.  
Good. G'night, Tamika. The nurse bowed and left.  
I'm sorry...You can go back, if you want. Myka said, rubbing her hand behind her head nervously. He didn't reply, just sat with his back to her. She whispered, and slipped off into a much wanted sleep, her dreams promising a certain priest.  
After a few minutes and counting to make sure she was asleep, he cautiously lay down at the edge of the bed, narrowing his eyes at the sight of her good shoulder, bare. Fiercely and cursing under his breath, he threw the blanket over her.  
She whispered, and clutched the blanket, snuggling deeper into it. He was never good with emotions. That was because half the time, he never felt any. This was no exception.  
Sighing, wondering why he was always the baby-sitter, he let his head rest unto the pillow he occupied, the melody of the rain and the warmth of the bed and perhaps her body, be it only a few inches away, soothed him into a relieving sleep. They need bigger beds, damnit...was his last thought, his golden hair tainted silver by the gray of the evening sky.

He awoke in a cold sweat, his breath heavy. Sanzo composed himself; he was in the hospital, and he was supposed to be modering Myka. But that nightmare, everything looked so real...He relaxed, when he felt a hand feel his forehead, and he grabbed the wrist in question. It was Myka's, and her gasp told him so.  
This is really stupid... He moaned, the rain hitting so hard each drop seemed to pound his temples. It was so cold...  
You have a fever. Myka said, her face visible enough. It was illuminated by the gray light coming from the window. Lay still-  
He began to get up, but she slammed him down, her hands gripping his shoulders.  
Yes. Go back to sleep... She reached over and pulled a towel out of Sanzo's range of vision, it even hurt to watch her, his eyes were burning, and draped it across his forehead. He was sweaty, and it was then he realized his upper body was lacking clothes.  
What's...it's cold, why... He sounded so tired and helpless, it was pathetic.  
Your temperature is hot, but your feeling chills. Get back to sleep... She whispered, using the towel to wipe away the moisture. She was leaning over him, she was straddling his waist, and he had a clear view down her strap of a shirt; this made Sanzo irate, but found he couldn't move with devastating pain to his head.  
You went to long without sleep, and you've been in a hospital full of sick patients, that's why your cursed with this. She removed the towel and stroked his face with her hand. It felt...nice. He was so vulnerable, he couldn't keep his facade up, not that he acted any different when it was down. He was kind of a trance as he watched her work, wiping the sweat from his bare chest and stroking it to make sure she got all of it off.  
You should go to sleep. She whispered once she was finished, her face now inches from his. He was so cold...She was so warm. Oh, god damn, his head hurt. What he wouldn't give for a hangover instead of this.  
Myka...you bitch... He groaned, and she smiled.  
I think your coming around. Her hot breath felt good, and he wanted her closer. But he felt so weak. He hated weakness.  
Do you want me to stay? She asked, so softly, and her eyes looked so beautiful. He didn't answer her. She settled herself on his chest, to the side a bit, with her head tucked under his chin. Myka massaged his shoulder and chest lovingly, clearing off any new sweat that came, and occasionally her hand climbed up to his face, where she would feel his forehead and cheek.  
A new strength came to him that night, and his strong arm, only one, held her close, soaking up her warmth and playing with some strands of her hair that escaped her braid.  
Go to sleep. She soothed. I'm looking forward to you hating me in the morning.  
I don't...hate you. God, why was he saying these things? Damn fever. His head throbbed painfully.  
Fevers do tend to make one ramble...Please go to sleep, Sanzo-kun. I want you to get better.  
I...get away...go die, or something.  
I'm here. I-I always will be.  
He sueezed her harder in response, in both spite and thankfulness, and drifted off to a feverish sleep, where he felt hot and cold at the same time.

Morning treated them kindly, the sun just peeking in through the windows. Sanzo's head was tilted back and to the side, one arm gripping Myka, the other sprawled out. On his naked, toned chest was Myka, whose hair had come out of it's braid and rippled around her face and over Sanzo's arm. The sheets came up to her waist, the rest were either on the ground or trying to flee off the sides.  
It was Sanzo who awoke first, remembering last night's events in a kind of blur. He threw a confused look at Myka, who had a smile on her face and was breathing gently, the rise and fall of her delicate chest pushing at his ribs. He had seen alot of ugly women as of late, and he had to admit, she did look somehow decent, the way her hair captured the sunlight and shone like the stone she was named after.  
Deciding that nothing romantic had taken place, and he felt nothing for her, he concluded staying like this a little longer wouldn't do any harm. He wasn't sweating anymore, but his head still sang of a dull ache. Just when he was about to close his eyes he felt Myka's hand on his forehead.  
Your temperature is down. She murmured, and adjusted herself so she was more comfortable.  
Don't get cozy, I'm not enjoying this. He shot, but it was devoid of it's usual poison. This she took note of, and didn't move.  
They lay like that for a few minutes, just listening to the other breathe. Sanzo roughly cupped her chin in his hand and forced it away, than sat up. She yawned and sat up beside him, as if waiting to hear something.  
I don't feel anything for you. I was going to shoot you a few days ago, without any guilt.  
I know. Her smile drove him crazy.  
Why the hell are you smiling?! Most people get all sad-  
But I like you, Sanzo-kun. I think I was born just to meet you. So, naturally, I love being with you, even if you hated me, I would still feel that way.  
Who said I didn't hate you?  
You did. She let out a chuckle, and he said coldly.  
I lied. I do hate you.  
She said, smiling madly and slipping off the bed.  
Why can't you react like normal people do, damnit, I said I hate you. Your a pain in my ass and I would shoot you now if you weren't Hakkai's god damn daughter.  
all right. She snickered, picking up Sanzo's clothing off the floor.  
You put Goku to shame in stupidity.  
I realized that a long time ago, I must've been a fool. She tossed him his clothes. To leave you. She drifted over to the window, and rebraided her hair, slipping the hair tie Sanzo had given her for the end. Even though it was a thick braid, strands of shorter hair and her bangs still remained, exactly how Kanan's had been. She frowned; wondering how her father would react to her from now on.  
He got into the upper most part of his robes, glancing at her, but she just stared out the window.  
She asked, turning to face him. She didn't wait for a response, she knew she wouldn't get one. D-do you mind if I...um... Myka turned red, redder than the dried blood that seeped through her bandages.  
He snapped, now standing in front of her.  
Y-you still haven't t-told me why you're traveling w-west, right? Maybe we could talk about it over a d-drink?  
The apathy in his face was at it's usual. We don't have time to do that, we must move on. He started towards the door. Coming or not?  
She hurried after him into the hallway.  
Miss Tamika, you mustn't get up-  
Shut up and go to hell, I'm taking her, she looks fine to me. He revealed his gun as they swept out of the hospital, the echoing of Myka's apologies being their last debut.

The sky was still it's dull gray when they emerged, the reek of hospital still lingered at their noses, however. Sanzo's pace quickened as they walked through a busy street marketplace, the sounds of children laughing brightened up the gray day, the delicious smells of fresh baked bread blended with the rain washed fruit.  
A child ran into Myka, and she excused it with a smile.  
I have no wallet for you to steal. But... She tossed him a quarter she picked up. Take this, and make sure you don't get caught next time, all right?  
The dirty boy nodded timidly before vanishing behind another.  
You shouldn't encourage it. Sanzo said gruffly, keeping a lazy watch for a bar they were supposed to meet at.  
I've been there before, I couldn't help but carry a bit of sympathy. She shrugged. Sanzo turned into a carvern, inside a shy bar with a few hookers, drunks, and lights resided in harmony. Many couples seemed to have problem making out in public, and some were noted in dark corners, stripped down to few clothes. The priest found Gojyo soon enough, hunkered down over a glass in a corner table, along with Goku and Hakkai.  
No greetings were able to be exchanged, however, because the boy burst in through the door, his eyes aglow that reeked of youkai. Hakkai stood,  
Your looking for us, let's not involve innocents.  
The boy snarled, spit flying everywhere. I've come for Myka, she is one key to the resurrection! And his canine teeth suddenly extended, a purple mist around them.  
She pondered out loud, her head tilting to the side curtly.  
Gyumaoh's, you bitch. He responded, three blades sticking out from each shoulder at this point, he staggered, sickly bent over.  
Tsk. Their getting sloppy, just sending this one. Gojyo commented, rising from his seat.  
Oh, contrare. The demon said over the screams as some of the lesser drunks ran out of the bar. With a twisted grunt he doubled, and then tripled, the doppelganger's forming a semi circle.  
Can I please, Sanzo? Goku pleaded eagerly, his Nyoibo already in his hands.  
Go ahead. Sanzo waved lazily, clicking his gun as Goku charged at two, swinging the giant pole around his head. Sanzo stood and fired, hitting three square in the head.  
But the real one was still alive, for he doubled again, then tripled.  
Hakkai, where are my swords? Myka yelled over Sanzo's gun shots and Goku's cries of victory. Hakkai smiled and pulled them out from under the table.  
  
No time, thanks. She nodded, and ran to the nearest wall, sidling along it. Goku was thrown back, and he slid on the floor a ways before springing up in front of Gojyo.  
Let a pro handle this, Chimp. The clashing of chains and four dropped dead, only to be replaced by six. Goku jumped into the air and spun around, feeling Sanzo's bullets whistling by him, delivering a kick into one's head.  
How can we tell which is the real one?!  
Keep killing. Sanzo responded, breathing a sigh of relief as Hakkai put a chi barrier around him, stopping a youkai coming to his side.  
Myka crept into a dark corner, interlacing her fingers with two swords per hand, and looked around. The real one had to be hiding somewhere...She saw him, he was balanced on a rafter up above. How could she get there...?  
She called, and stepped into a better lit area.  
He yelled, a ruthless grin as he knocked another out.  
I want you to throw me up!  
  
Just trust me! She ran towards him, and leaped up into the air. In bewilderment, he grabbed her boots, and pushed, sending her sailing. Smiling and being propelled upwards, she gripped the rafter and swung forwards, did a handstand, letting go and landing on the rafter gracefully, facing the demon.  
Before it had time to react she used one hand to cut it's head off and split it's midsection in half with a lash of her arm, the other swung deep in the opposite direction and cut it's legs in half. She panted alittle, her dirty-blonde braid falling over her shoulder in suit with her bangs covering her eyes.  
With a flick of his wrist Gojyo finished off the clones, allowing a satisfying smirk when none came back to life.  
That was riveting. Hakkai said with a smile, expelling his barrier.  
Myka looked down at him, and they all spared a glance at her.  
She asked nervously, twisting her fingers around and slipping all of her blades into one palm.  
Well done, Myka-chan, I fear I had underestimated you at first. Please forgive me. Hakkai said with a twinkle in his eye, and she dropped down from the rafter, landing heavily on her feet described with a thud.  
She mumbled, then looked at Hakkai.   
No need. He was waving her off again. She was about to relax with Goku punched her shoulder playfully.  
Way to kick ass, Myka!  
Lay off her, Monkey, you'll get your stink all over her. Gojyo shoved him a little, Goku bounced right back in his face.  
It's better than yours, you smokin', drinkin', fuckin' kappa! You reek of that shit!  
Oh, is someone...jealous?  
NANI?! Why would I-  
Shut up you idiots!!(whack) I have a headache, and damnit, I don't need you (whack) bastards (whack) making it any worse! (whack) Sanzo smacked them with his fan, a bit bent as of late from over usage. Myka was too busy snickering to notice Hakkai, who was now right beside her.  
I'm afraid your wounds have reopened, Myka-chan. He took one her left forearm and unwrapped it. Next, using his chi he sealed the cuts, and rewrapped it tighter, doing the same thing to the other arm.  
Thanks, Hakkai. I didn't know you could do that...  
And over the roar of the other three, they led the way, picking their way through the bloody corpses.

Why'd we have to leave so early? Goku whined. I still haven't gotten my match with Myka yet!  
Oi, quit complaining. Gojyo took a drag on his cigarette, and used his other hand to stroke Myka's hair absent-mindedly, as he had previously taken it out of it's restraining braid. His fingers curled some locks behind her ear before he went lower and massaged her neck.  
Ah...that feels so good... She said, leaning into his touch. He grinned and chuckled in a perverted way, adding his other hand. Goku glared at Gojyo, who looked back innocently.  
We didn't want to be caught up in the rush of having murdered a bunch of youkai, is all. I'm sure we'll come to a town soon enough. Hakkai informed them.  
Yeah? Well maybe the next time Gojyo won't get laid so much so we don't have to smell   
Atleast I can get laid, Monkey.  
It can be arranged to have both of you laid into the ground. Sanzo's eyebrow gave an unhealthy twitch. Hakkai laughed.  
Don't you mean Gojyo?  
Whatever, I'm going to sleep this headache away. Anyone who wakes me is bound to die. He slumped in his seat, his bangs covering his eyes.  
I think it's clearing up. Hakkai looked up, and indeed, some rays of sunlight were coming through.  
Goku waved his finger around enthusiastically.  
Harder, hnn? Gojyo said, and Myka nodded.  
Yeah...ah, that's it...your such a perv, Gojyo. She added, watching his expression from the corner of her eye. She then remembered something.   
  
What's the resurrection of that...Gyumaoh person?  
It's a long story...  
We've got awhile.  
all right. So over the course of a half an hour Hakkai explained, with the interruptions of Goku, why they were traveling west.  
Whao...so you guys're are saving the world? She put her hands on Gojyo's, who stopped their rubbing on her neck.  
Are you kidding, Myka? Goku smiled. S' _we_ are saving the world.  
I never really thought about it like that. The slight rumbling Myka felt against her back told her it was Gojyo who said it. His fingers weaved in between hers, squeezing them tightly. I don't save people... He whispered, so she was sure she was the only one capable of hearing.  
We can't save people here without killing others. Myka said, and the air seemed to freeze around them. That's why hell...or even heaven must not exsist...if killing other's is a sin, so must be saving them.  
I told you not to keep me awake. Sanzo growled, breaking the prolonged silence.  
Oi, priesty, is there a heaven and hell? Gojyo asked, and noticed that Goku and Hakkai were listening, despite of their wandering eyes.  
Don't ask me, it wouldn't make a difference. I can help you find out, if you keep up this talking. He said coldly, the sound of his gun click ringing through their heads.  
I think it doesn't matter, cuz livin' is more important, right? There's no food in either place, so why bother go there expectin' to eat? Goku stated suddenly, and Hakkai laughed. What's so funny?!  
In the end it all comes down to food, doesn't it, Goku? He shook his head, all of them knowing except for Goku what he said impacted them, and highlighted out a very decent point.  
Come to think of it, I'm hungry.  
I said-  
G'night, Sanzo-kun. Myka said, even though it was around noon, she was saving Goku from a certain death.  
I'm forever ringed by fools.  
But...we're not in a circle.  
(veinpop) Can it, Monkey!

A/N: Hey, I hope you guys like the chapter, and thank you so much for reading. I'm not really in a talkative mood, seeing as I'm about to drop dead from sleeploss, so please reveiw (if you can, I understand will be on a read only mode from Sun.21st to Tuesday) tell me everything, the bad, the good, what you'd like to see, etc. I can't always garuntee I'll fulfill your requests, but I'll try my hardest to fit them in if they fit in with the storyline, characters, etc .  
I'll see you next chapter, ja ne!


	5. Scroll Five

_Sanzo...are you afraid to die? Myka asked him, swinging her feet idly on the tree branch. It was the day she was going to leave. He was down at the roots, and looked up at her through narrow eyes, not suspecting anything but her different behavior.  
I'm not afraid, I just don't want to.  
She struggled, trying to put this to make sense. Not wanting to do something...Isn't that a form of fear?  
Not really...  
Than what is it?  
It's just a feeling, damnit. Why do you have to analyze it?  
No reason....  
...You've been acting weird lately...more than usual. Stop it.  
all right. She climbed down, her voice fragile. I've got to go clean windows, Sanzo... She gave him a sad smile, her eyes going glassy. It hasn't been raining, you know.  
_  
Scroll Five: Let it Be

Goku's snores were painfully obvious, as Hakkai looked over at him from the edge of his book.  
You certainly wore him out, didn't you?  
He's not the only one tired. Myka said, a yawn following suit. They had ran alongside Jeep as it was traveling, duking it out while running for about two hours past four. It had been dangerous; twice Myka had to stop to suppress her alter ego of a youkai. As they drew nearer to the west, it was getting harder and harder to keep it locked away. That reminded her...  
Do you think that...thing inside me has something to do with the resurrection?  
Hakkai laid his book down, and turned his attention to her, her image tainted by the blazing fire.  
Who cares. Gojyo's arm was slung around her shoulders lazily, it's hand playing subconsciously with her hair. He was content in playing Poker with Sanzo, who had a permanent scowl on his face, from having his luck turn sour three games in a row. We're going to stop the resurrection anyway; why dwell on it?  
I suppose you have a point. Hakkai adjusted his eye piece continently. I'm just curious as to why assassins have been growing less in number over the period of time we've had Myka-chan.  
From what I've seen, whenever she's taken and not herself, she goes on a killing rampage. Sanzo spat, glaring at his cards and ignoring Gojyo's snicker laced with liquor. And if she does have something to do with the resurrection, they don't want to kill her off.  
But than they would attempt to kidnap her, right? Hakkai reasoned. Sanzo shook his head, and spared a dangerous glance at the female.  
Not nessarily. As we go west, closer to Gyumaoh, Myka is having to try and suppress that youkai more and more. I've got a feeling that once we get there, they plan that she will turn on us, and then contribute to whatever they want her to do. Or other wise, kill us. He was in the process of lighting a cigarette, and with a click of metal he snapped the lighter shut. If we can't depend on you, Myka, than your going to have to leave.  
I'll try. She answered, her hands clenched.  
That's not enough. Sanzo said flatly, and breathed out some smoke into the crisp night air. Either you can, or you can't. If I have a preference, I'd rather not shoot you. Get lost if you can't handle it.  
It was silent for a moment, even Goku's snoring seemed put on mute.  
Don't be such an ass, Sanzo. If she can't handle it, then you can shoot her. Don't be so selfish. Gojyo tisked, wagging a finger at him.  
I'll make sure she kills you first before I do anything. Sanzo replied coldly, placing a suit of hearts down.  
You all seem to have lost faith in Myka-chan. Hakkai smiled. She is learning, having to keep the youkai at bay twice today must've been hard, along with the physical-  
And mental. Gojyo chimed in.  
Exhaustion of Goku. Hakkai continued promptly. I'm sure she'll be all right. However... he folded his hands and rested his chin on them, looking serenely at Myka, who didn't like the sudden attention she was getting. If you feel you can't handle it, Myka-chan, I'd rather you leave and stay alive, rather than die in front of my face.  
I-I understand... She took a deep breath, and embraced her knees, resting her head upon them. If I get out of control before we get there, I want you to leave me. Because I will not leave Sanzo-kun again. If I-I...I do lose myself when we do get there, please do not feel guilt or sorrow if you kill me. In your side of things, Sanzo-kun, I will let you know if I can't handle it.  
I win. Gojyo grinned, and took the cards. Royal flush, Sanzo-_kun._ He chuckled as he shuffled the deck and put it back into his pocket. Sanzo rubbed his brow with the air of very thin patience.  
Your hair isn't the only thing that's going to be red if you keep it up.  
Ahah, I think it's time we get to sleep, don't you think? Hakkai supplied, crawling over to the drooling Goku and tossing a blanket over him. Sanzo made a swift jerk of his hand, ridding himself of tabacco, a sign the party had come to understand as agreement.  
You want to sleep with me again tonight, beautiful? Gojyo asked, rubbing her arm. It is awful cold. But I can assure you'll be hot all night...not that you ever aren't. He grinned wrathfully, and she looked at Sanzo, whose eyebrow arched into his bangs.  
He didn't really state as it question.  
You don't mind, do you?  
The hell, I don't give a shit, what gave you that idea? But the way his eyes gleamed suspiciously looked like anger to her, and she sighed. It probably had to do with his resentment to Gojyo, not her. It never had to do with her.  
You go on ahead, I'm gonna stay up and meditate to neutralize my chi. Hakkai said it would help. I'll be there in an hour or so.  
All right, want to play hard to get, hnn? I'll see you later then. His arm slipped off her shoulders as he got up with a lazy grunt and practically fell into his blankets once he reached there. Myka smiled fondly at him before crossing her legs and sitting up straight.  
Find your center... She mumbled, recalling what Hakkai had told her.

_ Don't try and clear your mind, just ease yourself into it. He had told her with a smile, sitting continently in the desert sand. They were away from the others, who had agreed to stop to eat lunch, after Goku's onslaught of complaints about how eating while moving disturbed his precious digestion process.  
Ease yourself into it? She repeated doubtfully, running a hand through her hair, trying to hide her frustration. She was failing miserably. How can I ease' myself into it?! I mean, tons of things are on my mind, not to mention that damn youkai-  
Relax, Myka-chan. Hesitantly, he put his hand on her shoulder. That's the first step.  
She huffed, closing her eyes.  
Don't will yourself to do it-  
I know, I know, _ease_ yourself into it.  
My, aren't we the terse one this afternoon. Your temper is usually quite stable. She opened one silver eye littered with blue.  
I'm sorry...it's... She took a deep breath, catching the gentle squeeze he gave her shoulder.  
To be blunt, it'd be best if you were quiet. Goku is trying his best, you know. it was then Myka noticed how silent it was. She looked over at the trio, Sanzo was reading last weeks newspaper, Gojyo was smoking and teasing Goku, who had a rather angry look on his face, due to the tape stuck to his mouth and rope around his hands.  
Uh...they didn't have to do that...  
Maybe not. But try to relax, if not for your own sake, than for someone else's.  
I'll give it a shot... She bit her lower lip and shut her eyes, rolling her shoulders back and placing her hands in her lap. After a minute of sitting still, she could almost visualize Hakkai's smile.  
Very good. Now, you must find your center.  
...My center? Are you kidding?  
No. Listen, but keep your eyes closed. Chi comes from seven centers of the body. They are the forehead, chest, spine, abdomen, hands, shoulders, and feet. The four main centers are the forehead, chest, spine, and abdomen. Usually, one specializes in one of these four centers to draw their energy from. This is finding your center.'  
Your pretty explanatory-  
I was a teacher.  
...um, but how do I find my center'?  
  
  
I'm not sure. He replied finally with a chuckle. She almost face faulted, forcing her eyes to stay shut.  
  
Calm down, your temper is going back up again. Things are still on your mind. Relax...allright, I'm not sure how you do it, because to me, it came naturally. I mostly use my hands, which is odd because their not one of the four centers. Nevertheless, try focusing your chi, once you've cleared your mind, to one of those four, and see if it feels natural. You'll know when you find it.  
Okay...but how will this help me again?  
By finding your center and neutralizing your chi within that center, you'll be able to call upon it to help suppress the youkai ego. In other words, you'll be able to group your chi all in one place, making it much more efficient and powerful. By doing this every night-  
Every night... She groaned, and he snickered.  
Yes, your chi manipulation will get stronger, and holding back that youkai should become easier, if my theory is correct.  
Okay, thanks, I guess...  
Now, you'll have to excuse me, I must save Goku from a certain fate. He paused, not quite ready to leave her. Good luck, Myka-chan. I'm...I...  
Your not helping me clear my mind, you know, Hakkai. You're making me think of all the things I want you tell me. I'd rather you save those words for another time.  
Thus the pupil becomes the teacher.  
  
Never mind, about the patience. I'm rushing things, aren't I?  
She was beyond tempted to open her eyes. I've lost 21 years I could've spent with you. All you wanted to do was say something. We're talking about two different time periods. I'm talking about two seconds ago; your talking about all of the days we've spent together so far...Maybe...maybe that's the... difference between you and I.  
I see you've inherited my perspective. He chuckled at his boast. I'm joking, of course.  
You're not.  
Oh, Goku is suffering because of my stalling...  
Um...you'll help me regain those last 21 years...right?  
...Starting tomorrow morning.  
I-I'd really...like that.  
So would I._

Closing her eyes, she willed herself to clear her mind. Clear her mind...Clear her-  
Clear your mind quietly, _quietly._ Sanzo barked, somehow keeping it in range of a whisper.  
She opened one eye, noticing Sanzo on his stomach, the blankets wrinkled around him, the firelight making his sun-colored hair that much more brilliant. She didn't realize she had been murmuring clear your mind.'  
Quit staring at me, aren't you supposed to clear your mind?'  
...I-If you don't mind me saying so, your a bit...upset, or something, Sanzo-kun.  
I do mind you saying so.  
Gomen. G'night, then. She shut her eyes again. But the image of Sanzo kept nagging at her, and she shook her head in a non too gentle shake. It came back, except this Sanzo had a gun pointed straight at her, and his violet depths showed just a bit of sadness. It was only a flicker, like a ripple to a pond, but it was there. Clear her mind, clear her mind...  
This is pointless... She moaned, rising to her feet. Sanzo was too much of a distraction. She spared a glance over at him, he was in a trancelike state, staring at the embers ballet. Are you okay, Sanzo-kun?  
...Get lost.  
Something about clearing her mind destroyed her temper. Bam, just like that.  
Why are you so...don't you...why can't you tell me anything? She asked softly; her anger differed from Sanzo's. Sanzo's wasn't soft; it was cold and blunt. Her's was a mixture of tenderness and shyness, not quite as bold. It was like fighting dirt with fire. His eyes didn't leave the fire, the violet stained with red and orange.  
There's nothing to tell.  
He gave her a glare in response, and she smiled faintly. She leant exclusively on one leg, the other bent, her hips twilted sideways.  
Quit acting like my parent.  
I'm not trying to.  
You are. Stop it if you wish to see tomorrow.  
As long as your there. Myka answered briskly, giggling a little as she made her way over to Gojyo, who preferred to sleep the most away from the fireplace, claiming, I don't want to sleep near you homos, I like my ass untouched'.  
She failed to hear Sanzo remark under his breath,   
It's been fifteen 't resist the temptation? Gojyo welcomed her as she laid down beside him, bringing the woolen blankets up to her chin. Her back was to him, this he frowned at. Myka felt him embrace her from behind, his head nestling on the crook of her neck as it it were a pillow.  
You okay? He asked, his voice heavy with sleep and alcohol.  
...Not really...  
  
She burrowed herself into him, his warmth, his comfort. Her back was still to him, but his legs somehow were tangled in hers. Oh kami, Gojyo...  
You've got to stop doing this.  
She went to move forward, but she felt his arms pull her back quickly.  
Just...go to sleep. Let that bastard be, he doesn't deserve you right now.  
Don't say that.  
Too bad. I already did.  
She had slept peacefully that night, but something nagged at her conscious state, like a piece of clothing snagged on a fence. She awoke around two, to find Sanzo still up, smoking and looking like the picture of his type of tranquil frustration. Carefully, she untangled herself from Gojyo and walked over, staggering a bit from waking up.  
You're still up. She decided to state the obvious, wondering if he'd reply. He didn't. He did, however, spare a glance at her with those violet eyes, that made her freeze. What's up, Sanzo-kun?  
Nothing is wrong, so just leave. His response was gruff, and came out as a snarl. No matter how tired, Sanzo could always snarl. She didn't obey, deciding to be brave. Sitting down beside him, Myka was careful not to have their legs touch. Sanzo was very much like a snare; get to close, and he'll snap.  
I told you to leave.  
I'm not. Fine then, he wasn't going to give her any response. Like a child, he mused, she would get bored and frustrated, then leave.  
I think the clouds are clearing up, Sanzo-kun. Her head was tilted up, searching the sky for any stars. He glanced upward, noting that no stars would show through until some time.  
No stars are going to show until a few hours. It's hopeless. Go back to sleep.  
Not if I wait. She locked eyes with him, for the first time that night, and saw how tired he was. Of course he was tired, he wasn't sleeping. God, she's been hanging around Goku too much.  
Waiting is for idiots. Suddenly she wondered if they were talking about the stars anymore.  
W-Why, Sanzo-kun? He seemed to consider if he should answer her or not, and reached to his left and withdrew a stick, tossing it into the fire. It hissed it's thanks as the flames began to devour it.  
Doing nothing...you might as well die and get it over with. You don't live to do nothing. He determined, trying to make this less personal.  
But I'm not doing just nothing.' I am doing something. A small, timid voice at the back of her mind added, aren't I?  
No, you're not. Your just wasting your time. This was aimed directly at her, and for a moment, Sanzo lost his original plan of making this have nothing to do with them. Myka's lip trembled, and her hands clenched into tight fists.  
What's wrong with me, Sanzo-kun?! What the hell is wrong?! Am I not attractive enough?! Am I bitch?!? Do you hate me or something?... Why aren't you answering?!? She both yelled and whispered at the same time, her eyes shut because she was too ashamed of herself for finally cracking. Why...why don't you feel the same way about me...as I do you...? She broke down, the tears leaking from her closed eyes. She shoulders shuddered and shook, but she still sat up straight.  
You're so pathetic and weak. Sanzo's voice came in a rough, cold whisper. He was standing now, towering over her with sharp shadows that defined his face like a sculpture. She looked up at him, and found she had no will to stand. She was frozen under that gaze, that gaze that looked so much like hate.  
You disgust me. He turned to leave, but she grabbed his robes in a desperate attempt, and stood on trembling legs.  
Sanzo-kun...don't do this... She whimpered, reaching out her other hand. He slapped it away. It hurt. Badly. His face showed no emotion as he started to walk, but her left hand clung to his clothing tighter. She whispered, and threw herself on him, hugging him around his neck. Tears began to pour down her cheeks as she began to cry again.  
Myka felt Sanzo shove her away, gripping her by the shoulders and holding her a foot away from him. His eyes bore holes into her skull, almost seeing past her.  
Then...  
He slapped her across the face.  
Her eyes went wide as she looked back at him, the sting lengthening to beyond just her skin. This wasn't Sanzo...Sanzo wouldn't do this...Why...?  
You make me sick. He said the words with such hatred, with such coldness she couldn't even cry. She felt like she was suffocating, and she was too shocked to even cry harder.  
But he was right.  
He slapped her other cheek, the blow would make anyone stumble.  
But she held her ground, her mouth agape as she began to come to grips with what was happening. Myka brought her hand to her stinging face and wiped away her tears, looking back at Sanzo, who looked as if nothing had really happened, save the fact that his time was wasted.  
Her jaw was firm as she smiled alittle, realizing suddenly how much she really loved Sanzo. She had thought he had hated her when he had uttered those words, but he had shook her by the shoulders and forced the fact into her mind.  
She had to get stronger.  
She couldn't depend on him, she couldn't cry if he left her, and feel life couldn't go on. Because that could really happen.  
He wanted her to survive.  
He wanted her to live.  
And that was sure as hell better than him hating her.  
Sanzo-kun...I...thank you.  
The look he gave her made her wonder briefly if she had been given him too much credit, and it didn't go into doubt when he couldn't find anything to say. He just shook his head slightly and turned to walk away again when she found her voice, steady this time. I don't...really make you sick, do I?  
You're thinking to much. You've never been any good at it, so shut up.  
Whatever it was she did, he was back to normal.   
  
I'll become stronger.  
Of course you will. He said, all but sarcasm dripping from his lips. What does that have to with anything?  
What do you have to do with stars? She shot back, stepping closer.  
Pfft. Nothing. This is just a waste of my time.  
...Can you just answer me one more question?  
She was lucky he was in an agreeable mood.  
Can you check my shoulder wound?   
You should have Hakkai do that.  
Hakkai's not the one up.  
Wait until morning. He became very aware that Myka was now only a foot away from him, looking at him in the most curious way.  
It _is_ morning. Please? The bandage is really bothering me.  
Quit whining. He wasn't expecting it to be healed, but he ripped off the bandage, anyway, seeing if Myka would flinch.  
To his disappointment, not even a wince.  
When all of the bandage was off, he had to strain his eyes to see in the darkness. It looked healed...he ran his fingers over the spot, applying unnecessary pressure. Still, no tension, no pain. Damnit. He hit a rather tender area, where a notch of her shoulder was missing, like a ditch on the side of a road. It was a clean indent, the size of half his bullet.  
Otherwise, no blood, it was healed as much as it could manage.  
  
Don't sound too happy. She replied, running her own fingers over it. She flinched this time as she touched it, in the exact same spot Sanzo had. That was weird, he thought, how it hurt more when she touched it than when he had, at a greater pressure.  
They both stood there, both had planned to leave as soon as the other had. Consequently, nether had moved. Thinking this was a low as he could get, Sanzo attempted to walk away, expecting to be stopped; but he wasn't. He looked back, to make sure she hadn't died, and she hadn't. Her back was toward him, her hair swaying slightly due to the sudden breeze that picked up.  
He almost smirked...almost.  
It was almost as if...he had grown used to her, but she had suddenly changed. No, maybe it was him who had changed. Maybe she did make him sick, his stomach felt like it was twisting into knots, and the sound of throbbing became accustomed to his ears.  
It must've been his sleep-loss.

Hakkai, what was my mother like? Myka asked him the next morning, the sun not quite up as blue began to slowly creep from the eastern horizon. Nibbling on some bread, she noted Gojyo was torn between sleeping and staying awake. Hold on... She told the driver, who was fighting his inner angst. She took Sanzo's elastic from her braid, played with it in her hand, before tying Gojyo's hair back, sitting back down on his lap in satisfaction.  
He must've stayed up late, to make sure she would sleep.  
Hakkai ran a hand through his hair, slowly, as if he had touch every single strand to make sure he was still there. He looked back at his daughter, who was untangling her braid. She wasn't Kanan, he repeated to himself. She wasn't Kanan. Kanan was gone. He had to accept that, to let it be.  
If he could not, he would live as a dead man.  
He couldn't do that; not while Myka was living. He was responsible for her.   
But looking at her, he realized that his last thought wasn't a fact, it was an opinion. She survived this far on her own; what did she need him for?  
  
Sorry...her name was Kanan, and she was the most beautiful women-  
Gojyo made a loud snort, despite of his dozing, and Hakkai corrected himself with a hint of a grin.  
In my eyes, I suppose. But she more than just a lover...  
...What do you mean?  
She was also my older sister. He didn't know how she would react, and she kind of just blinked,  
Oh, I see...go on.  
You don't...your not upset?  
Um...not really. I mean, I'm not into that, but if you are-were-it's your business. I don't care, you're still my father, and my mother was my mother. I shouldn't be upset about something that I can't change, or about the very person that brought me into existence. Even if I'm not supposed to be.  
An odd silence decided to blanket itself around them, wrapping around them with it's cold touch and forming a slight wall. Myka visibly shivered; even though it was about 60 degrees.  
...Did she hate me, Hakkai? She asked softly, and Goku snapped out of his daydreaming, his large, somewhat innocent eyes watched with slight confusion. How could a mother hate her own child? The thought struck him as not only being directed at Myka, but himself.  
She didn't think you were you, Myka-chan. She thought you were that youkai that's locked inside of you now. His voice was calm and light, as if he were asking her to pass salt at dinnertime.  
Was she right...or wrong...to do what she did? Myka's soft tone was so hard to hear Hakkai cursed Jeep's motor. Of course, he knew what she was talking about. It's something, he too, used to lose sleep over at night.  
I'm not sure. He looked back, and smiled. Ah, I see your up, Goku. Hungry? She realized what he was doing, and she decided to let it go. Something must've been really terrible, and she had this toxicating feeling that he had killed many; after all, he was a youkai. And in her blood, she was pure human.  
Forgetting was man's way of survival. To bury the dead, is like burying man's grief.  
But...  
What was a youkai's?  
And it hit her, a sudden thought that came light the rising of sun over the horizon.  
Kanan must've never been buried.  
Hakkai has been suffering, because Kanan is never completely gone, buried.  
And here she was, almost like Kanan reincarnated, and she was bugging him about her, the real Kanan.  
What an idiot she was.  
Looking around, she watched as another brawl between Gojyo and Goku was unfolding, Hakkai driving and Sanzo making absent-minded death threats.  
It was like she wasn't there.  
And maybe she never was.  
But maybe...  
I'm sorry, Hakkai. She whispered, her bangs overshadowing her eyes. He had heard her, and he shook his head.  
She is alive, weak or strong.  
And it's about time she accepted that. Whether or not she wants to be here, well...that was her decision.  
If she could just...  
Everything will be all right, Myka-chan...just let it be.  
Let it be. She whispered, and smiled as Sanzo's eyes snagged hers, acknowledging her prescence. It was about time she did so. 

A/N: I'm sorry I took so long updating! Thanks for waiting and the reveiws, including the strange one from Bet You Love That. It's alright, I'm almost finished this deluded fantasy' of mine, so you can rest easy, I guess. I've gotta warn you regular readers, nontheless, this may not turn out how you might've expected. To me, it's a very anti-climatic ending and is very poorly done, plus it's come all too soon, but that's up to you to decide. This next bit is just my take on the story, so you can skip it.  
This story was created as a what if' thought I had in my mind, and I wanted to bring out how each of the Saiyuki characters react to different emotions and states of mind (meaning life and death). That's all. It's supposed to be a romance, even though there _is virtually no romance. _Literally. It's all _almost_ one-sided, and it's all just to get my idea across. If you look back carefully, much of the places and event have to do with **symbolism to the character**. Example: Sanzo embracing Myka when he was sick, or you could say on the brink of death. Only when he was weak and nearing , so to speak, is when he accepted Myka's life in her and her love for him, that he embraced her. Showing that Sanzo, even though his is perspective, cannot accept emotions until he is in his very weakest state so he just _has_ to see.   
About Myka, I based her character on a friend of mine, and based her on the emotion love and all the others attached to it. Again, referring to the above paragraph.   
That's what makes this fic so poorly done, and I apologize if anyone really hates me for it. But it's not only Sanzo this fic is about, and I won't keep going on and on, I'll just let you figure it out if you want. Some of you may find this fic more enjoyable by ignoring the symbolism and just looking at as a romance. Because you can veiw it that way, if you choose. Some of you may not. I just thank you all for reading and reviewing, and I hope you feel something about these last two chapters, be it anger, dissapointment, or satisfaction. Because that is a sign that I affected you **somehow.  
**I'll see you one last time in the final chapter, which will close all the gaps I've left open this chapter. Ja ne, and please review.


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